“HEY, BABY GIRL.”

“WON’T YOU GIVE ME A SMILE?”

“HEY, HONEY. HOW YOU DOING TODAY?”

“PRINCESS, OVER HERE!”

“HEY, YOU, ON THE RIGHT, IN THE BLACK PANTS!”

“DAMN, GIRL.”

Who would’ve thought a woman wouldn’t appreciate a stranger shouting out lewd “compliments” at her as she walks down the street? No, I can understand that it can be so confusing to distinguish a compliment from harassment, but here’s the thing: as much as I love being badgered with disgusting comments when I’m out and about, I don’t. You know, believe it or not, I am not a huge fan of being sexualized (regardless of what I’m wearing or doing) to the masses.

I would be willing to bet that no woman walking down the street has a great desire to be called out when she is minding her own business and told all about how great she looks from a strange man shouting at her from across the street.

Here’s a tip, catcallers: making unwarranted comments of sexual nature towards women might not be the best approach. Just a thought, and a wild one, I know. But consider this: has catcalling ever achieved the desired result? To expand on that, what is the desired result? If the intent was to insult or humiliate the woman the comment was directed at, or to achieve objectification, then let me pass some judgement: that is a horrible end goal. You did achieve it, though I won’t be offering congratulations.

Let’s not confuse a respectful interaction that involves giving a compliment with the jeers, leers, or prolonged stares that marks a catcaller. To great surprise, I did not select this outfit with the hope that some man I do not know and have never met might give me a degrading, generalized nickname and call it out to me as I walk down Tremont Street.

You all seem surprised when a woman doesn’t react “well.” Please, someone tell me what the right response to being shouted at and objectified is, because I am lacking an understanding of what catcallers are seeking. I know that when I’m catcalled, I’m not considering the intentions of the person screaming unwarranted remarks at me; I’m thinking, “How fast can I escape this situation without escalating it?” So, here’s some food for thought: when contemplating the catcall, it is best to assume the woman in question does not get off on being harassed.

When considering the classic question often pondered in the highest levels of academia, “Should I catcall her?”, I would offer this advice: no. Now, I understand that there has been some misinformation on this topic, and I get that even the most informative flowcharts can be confusing, so here’s some simple clarification in the form of a math problem: catcalling is… degrading + disrespectful + discomfort-inducing + a promotion of objectification + nonconsensual = catcalling is NOT OK. Because believe it or not, women are, in fact, people.