After graduation, I found that post the excitement and sheer joy of completing four years of hard labor, there was a deafening silence and lack of work to complete that was somewhat dizzying.

I found that after the parties and celebrations, I felt utterly defeated. Without grad school to attend, I had no real plans other than getting a job and applying to schools the following fall. I did my best while packing up my dorm to think of the positives regarding my transition into the “adult world.” I kept telling myself that I would have all this time to read and go to the beach, to maybe travel and finally finish my book. But no matter what I told myself, I still felt at a loss and like a failure for not having a concrete post school plan.

At a point in one of my last days on campus, I had a professor tell me that in his opinion, a year off was the best thing I could do for myself. He also said that I shouldn’t consider the time out of school a “year off,” but rather a “year ON.” This advice didn’t mean a whole lot to me at the time, but will come into play later.

As final moving days came to a close, and all goodbyes had been said, it set in that moving back into my mom’s and hunkering down for the long haul was my reality. I can’t say that I expected to have some big shot job and pockets full of money post undergrad, as I am a tad more realistic than that (only a tad). But I certainly didn’t imagine myself aimlessly wandering around local shopping centers turning in my resume, begging people to hire me. I know at this point, you’re thinking “here we go again, another millennial thinking that they are entitled to the world…” and you know, you’re not far off base.

I’ve seen a trend in recent graduates in which there is a certain air in the way they speak, in the way they hold their heads when they talk of their futures. They are prideful and boiling over with energy and hope. I’ve had some friends graduate just this past month, and they all have that same gleam of victory in their eyes. My point is not to rid them of their rightful joy, but to admit that I, too, shared the same gleam at my initial release from uni.

I think there is a fine line between hope and delusion, and an even finer one between pride and goading. My generation needs to be mindful of these lines.

The day I realized I was no better than anyone else because of my degree was the day that after handing a woman her cappuccino, she sniffed it, swirled it, handed it back to me, and then called me stupid. I was fortunate enough to regain my old barista position at a coffee chain near my house, and after months of sliding under the radar and keeping to myself, Cappuccino Lady got to me.

“You’re so stupid!” she spat, full of vinegar. If you don’t already know, service jobs can be some of the most trying occupations on the planet, but because of this I find them incredibly valuable on the individual level. Also, there’s no shame in carrying a degree and holding a minimum wage job (I’m looking at you, starry eyed post grads). My mom has always said “a job is a job,” and for that I am proud. I like the company I work for, the atmosphere, and I am genuinely interested in coffee culture. However, as soon as this woman rejected my cappuccino and my intelligence, it all came crashing down. Without response I retreated to the back where I ranted to my boss about my time abroad, my classes in post colonialism, and the fact that I graduated with honors! Could no one understand! I’m smart! Woe is me, blah blah blah. My boss looked at me with a smirk on her face and a hint of humor behind her eyes.

“Do you really care what that lady thinks?” she said.

I of course answered with a flat “no,” and carried on with my day. However, if I’m being honest, in the moment I did care. I really cared about what she thought.

It was about more than the degree. More than the pride, more than the fact that she called a stranger stupid for no other reason than maybe that her cappuccino was too milky for her liking.

It was because I felt I had accomplished so much in this working year. I still feel this way.

Yes, at first I was miserable, I won’t lie. I was sad that I hadn’t tried harder to go to grad school, I was frustrated that everything cost so much and I could barely get by, I was livid that no one gave a crap about my recent education.

Pro tip: Everyone loves a young person in school, but no one likes a recent graduate with nothing to show for it. All those smiles and “Good for you!”s when you were in school and boasting to Aunt Velma and Grampa Jim or the cashier at the grocery store go out the window the second you graduate. Lemme tell ya, it’s like turning 23 – no one likes you. It’s almost as if they view you as a time waster, as a person who had all of this opportunity and then ended up as a barista at a coffee shop. Ahem.

After some time, I started to see the value of me working and being home. I learned that all these years of fighting with my mother and trying to get away from her were wasted and fruitless. All I needed to do was spend a little more time with her and get to know her some more. I can honestly say I owe it to this year for helping me rebuild my relationship with my mother, I value that more than anything and if it weren’t for this time off, I don’t know where we would be now.

I learned that I’m a Buddhist! Surprise! Atheist Alex turned to chanting and mantras of peace after all these years of religious rejection. Had I not had this time to explore my beliefs, I may have never found the kind of solace I have achieved since beginning my practice.

I learned that the local bus driver of route 90 on the street of the Golden Lantern goes to work at four in the morning so that he can leave by noon, eat, and go volunteer teach at the Y until eight at night. He doesn’t get home until ten, and then he goes to bed and does it all over again the next day. You go, bus driver, I am so blessed to know you. Because of my lack of transportation and my work schedule, I know this awesome guy, and whenever I feel down or like I can’t accomplish something, I whisper “bus driver” to myself.

I learned that I really like yoga. Another surprise as last year at this time I was 20 pounds heavier and about 20 times stiffer. Again, my lack of transportation forced me to start walking – everywhere. After a while I started to like my walks, and found that they weren’t enough to feed my need to be active. I started swimming and now follow Yoga With Adrienne on Youtube – check her out, she’s great.

I learned that I can still draw and paint and that the artistic side of my soul needs to be nourished and tendered to on the regular.

I learned that I am a great fan of tea, especially green mint tea, especially while watching the X-Files and Doctor Who on Netflix.

I learned that I can make new friends of all sorts (this one especially surprised me, as it took me years to make friends during university) and that it is OK to let new people into your life — even healthy!

This is starting to sound a lot like a list. (Sorry not sorry, I can’t help that I’m trendy).

My point is that after all my dwelling and worrying and wanting to be in a better “position” in life than I was post grad, it was all meant to work out like this. I was meant to be home with my family in order to regain feelings of trust and togetherness. I was supposed to get this old job back and relearn what it is like to actually be a part of the work force. I was meant to meet new and inspiring people. Heck, I was even meant to meet Cappuccino Lady.

Because of you, Cappuccino Lady, I have reflected on this past year in great detail. Because of you, I remember that no one on the daily really cares about my Bachelor’s degree, and that life is a about a whole lot more than book smarts.

Although my initial response to you would have been that of one starry eyed post grad, full of facts and essay writing abilities, my answer to you now is this:

I am smart because of all I have learned this year as a barista, as a sister, as a daughter, as a friend, and as a member of society. I am not stupid, because I have to deal with people like you on the daily, and that makes me strong and resilient and better suited for the future.

So to you, Cappuccino Lady, I say “Oh, I’m sorry, can I remake that for you?” smile, and then regain the youthful gleam in my eyes as I am so very thankful for this year ON.