Dear Former Best Friend,

I don't miss you.

Never in a million years did I expect to write this, but I sit here now, reflecting on the two months that have passed since we last spoke, and I realize that this much is true: I don't miss you, but I am grateful to you.

You see, I never have had to fight back before, at least when it came to friends. Unfortunately, you saw that and so you walked all over me, and I let you get away with it because I was scared of being alone. To this day, I regret giving you that power over me, but I do not regret the day that I reclaimed my independence from you. So thank you for teaching me that I have a limit, and that I can fight back when I need to.

Also, thank you for showing me what to look for in friends. This past year, I have become friends with several beautiful souls that would make anyone jealous. I know that much is true, since your possessive nature reared its ugly head when I simply posted a picture of one of my other friends. Were you scared that you were being usurped? Or did you want to keep me isolated so that you could keep yourself happy? I'll never know, but I know that I was a fool to let you back in after you tried to guilt me, tried to tell me that I was an awful friend, a horrible person.

I'm sorry that I wasn't as honest as I should've been with you. There are days where I blame myself for your behavior, where I wonder if I could've nipped your behavior in the bud, if there was anything that I could've done. Looking back now though, I see that, even if I had stepped in and spoke out, things wouldn't have changed between us.

I know that we had good times when we were close. You were my first roommate, my security blanket my first year of college. You saw my tears, heard my laughter, called me out on my less than stellar moments, and I thought you would be my best friend forever.

Then something changed, and we were left reeling.

Maybe it started when I reunited with my boyfriend, when I started investing time and love into that relationship. Maybe I didn't put in enough care and time in our relationship and so you felt as if you'd been robbed. That would explain a bit, including how much you hated my boyfriend, how you went out of your way to exclude and ridicule him.

I let you get away with a lot. I excused your behavior until I just couldn't anymore. There were moments when I wanted to run away from you, when I wondered where the somewhat motherly friend of last year was, when she was replaced with someone who felt that she could pass judgement on others without consequence.

I know that I am not a saint. I know that I made mistakes in our friendship, and I'll take responsibility for those mistakes. But just know that I will not take the entire blame, because it is not all my fault.

Am I aware that you may see this article? Yes.

Am I aware that I may hurt you again? Of course.

But am I sorry? Maybe. I don't like being the bad guy-- no one ever does-- but I can't keep quiet.

One of the last things you said to me was that I had "changed," and you aren't wrong. I have changed-- for the better. I am happier than I've been in a long time. I am more confident in letting my true voice speak, and that extends to speaking about my past and you, dear former friend, fall into that category now.

I do wish you happiness and success, and can only hope that you maybe wish the same of me. But to quote Taylor Swift: "We are never, ever, ever getting back together."

And I'm okay with that.

Sincerely,

Your former best friend