I love my friends to death and I always want them to be happy. I used to play match maker with them when I was younger because I thought they would make each other happy. Normally they did for a time but after that time was over and they broke up things got bad. I was always smack in the middle of all their fights and hearing them talk bad about one and another. No matter how hard I tried to keep their world apart with me jumping into each it ended badly. Sometimes things ended better than others and they became friends again. Other times I lost both of my close friends.
I was a freshman in high school when two of my friends liked each other. They met because of me and both had feelings for the other. Naturally wanting my friends to be happy I told James to ask out Jasmine and she said yes. They were the cutest couple, totally in love, and happy with each other. I was so happy I could help, but it turned sour about five months in. James was busy with his classes and his parents started getting strict on how much time he was able to hang out with Jasmine and his friends. It was upsetting to all of us but Jasmine was taking it the hardest. They ended up getting into a huge fight and broke up. The next day at school they were fighting over me and our other friends. They both insisted we take sides and not cross them ever again. I told them both I wouldn't do it.
They were both my friends before this whole mess and I was going to be friends with both them after this. They took this as “Let's fight over her and try to get her on our side.” which is exactly what they did. When I would walk with James Jasmine would come over and steal me. She'd loop her arm through mine and dig me the other way. James would do the same by putting his arm around me and pulling me away from Jasmine. Each would fight who I would eat with or if we had the same class who I would work it. It was really hard but I figured at some point they'd let up and would just see I wasn't going to pick a side. Sadly I was wrong. One day in the morning before school even started I was talking with some friends who were outside of the James/Jasmine group and they both walked over to me. I was shocked to say the least that they were together at the same time so when they asked to talk to me I said yes and walked over with them. I thought they were going to say sorry for acting so childish towards me about picking sides but boy was I was wrong.
“You have to pick,” Jasmine told me.
“I'm not picking,” I told her. “I already told you both that.”
“If you don't care enough to pick one of us than we don't care enough to fight over you,” James told me.
“It's not that! I care so much about both of you that I can't pick and I won't,” I explained.
“That's why we're picking for you. Either pick right now or don't speak to either of us again,” Jasmine told me.
“I can't pick,” I told them.
“Fine.” That was the last thing Jasmine told me before she walked away. James didn't even say anything. The next year Jasmine ended up moving and didn't go to our school anymore. James and I didn't speak again besides an occasional "excuse me" or something like that when we had class together. I think he realized how unreasonable he was being but didn't believe I'd forgive him. A lot of my friends broke up when I was younger but after that experience I never wanted any of my friends to date again.
This happened just this year. Two of my best friends were flirting and talking to each other. I found out in the worst way possible and didn't react well. I didn't want them to be together and than what happened with Jasmine and James to happen again. Nikki and Eric only dated for about two months before Nikki ended it. Nikki was going to travel and she didn't want a boyfriend to hold her down. She also didn't want to lead Eric on and hurt him. Eric always wanted to talk and be around Nikki but with her traveling she couldn't do that for him. Nikki was totally fine after the break up however Eric was not. Nikki soon completely ended the friendship and blocked Eric because he was making her uncomfortable. Eric was insanely upset to the point where I couldn't even mention Nikki's name without it ruining the whole time we'd hang out. Nikki for a while would only talk bad about Eric whenever I brought him up. It caused fights between me and two people who I loved so much. If I posted a Snapchat with Nikki in it I had to warn Eric first. If Nikki started talking bad Eric I'd fight back and she'd get mad. When my birthday rolled around they were fighting over who got for my birthday. Eric ended up getting me because I was supposed to go on a trip with Nikki and some other friends near my birthday. That caused so many problems so I finally just told Nikki to come to my birthday dinner and Eric would have to live with it. I was done dancing around them. That was the first night they'd seen each other since they broke up and it went great. They shared small talk and there was no fighting at all. That attitude ended up lasting and I got to keep my two best friends.
I learned a lot from both situations with my friends. Though Nikki and Eric didn't make things easy for me they never made me pick a side. James and Jasmine weren't true friends to me. They believed I didn't care enough about one of them to pick. When the truth was I cared too much about both of them to just pick one. I know I can never stop my friends from dating each other no matter how hard I try. What I have learned is that even though them breaking up is hard on our friendship if they're true friends we'll make it work and make it through.
