Hiding Behind A Face That Is Not Mine

Normally every teenager or young adult undergoes some kind of change throughout their earlier years in life. Transitioning from different schools, towns, friends, and anything or anywhere, there is always one trait that will follow you. Growing up, acne is the silent confidence killer that somehow always pops up during the most stressful, worst, and best times.

But what if you are always stressed or not stressed at all and your Proactiv has just run out? I have tried everything from the dermatologist, tons of different prescribed products, birth control, facials and a bunch of other crap that I have grown sick of. I do everything right. I eat the right foods, drink plenty of water, and even take vitamins to destress, so what else could a girl possibly do?

It wasn't about until my sophomore year in high school when my acne decided to pay me a visit and by visit, I mean a very long un-welcomed stay (similar to the horror movie The Uninvited). During high school, my acne stayed under control so make-up overload and harsh acne killer products were not necessary. I may have gone to the dermatologist once or twice, but my skin seemed adequate.

Once I graduated from high school and had the most stressful summer of my life, college gave me an unforgivable gift. My acne has grown to be so nasty and so grotesque that I do not even want to be seen in public. Many trips to the skin doctor once again, tons of creams and washes, wasting money on make-up, and here I am still hiding behind a face that is not mine.

I got through freshman year of college and cannot remember the exact turning point of my acne going from bad to worse. Sophomore year rolled around and I decided it was time to go on birth control, not because of my acne but because I did not want a baby growing alongside my horrible skin. I noticed such a change in my mood and I was a mess. I was 100 percent confident that this pill was changing a lot about my demeanor but once everything in my body finally adjusted, my acne was the one part of me that got uncontrollably worse. Sure I can control births now, but not these large, spread out, oozing pimples covering my face (a little graphic but needed).

If I decided to list every single product I used for my acne from cleansers and moisturizers to extractions and light therapy, the list would be longer than the Declaration of Independence. Some familiar products are Epiduo, Onexton and Cetaphil but any product that has benzoyl peroxide or salicylic acid in it is guaranteed to help, that is not the case.

My skin ranges from being dried out to oily and on bad days, whiteheads galore. As of now, I cannot justify putting cover up on, expensive cover up I decided to invest in, just to clog my pores and make my face feel uglier than before.

As of now, I wouldn't say my acne is under control but it is almost there. Every two weeks I treat myself to facials and now use no prescribed products. I use a vegetarian face wash, acne pads, and a mask from Sephora. I highly recommend the mask I use because for once in my life I found something soothing yet effective. Tons of people will say it is all about finding the right products and I agree, but I do not want to spend the next 5 years doing that. Dr. Dennis Gross has skin care products sold at Sephora and for around $40, I can now justify spending a decent amount of money on a product.

Acne can make one feel unconfident and self-conscious. I want there to come a day when I can finally feel at peace and comfortable without wearing make-up. Is a healthy glow too much to ask for?