How I Deal with Uncontrollable Anxiety

How I Deal with Uncontrollable Anxiety

Anxiety is rough, and trying to control it seems impossible.
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When I talk about anxiety, I don’t just mean overthinking and worrying about every little thing, I mean anxiety attacks and the constant feeling of being overwhelmed.

When my anxiety attacks started I thought it was just stage fright, and I continued to think that for the next several years. The first time I remember it happening was in church choir. We were singing, and all of a sudden I had to crouch down to the floor. I was so upset that I refused to sing for the second service. Ever since then, my anxiety has had a mind of its own. At first it would only happen when I had to talk in front of people. That’s why I thought it was only stage fright, but it got worse. I started getting attacks just by talking out loud, or being near a large group of people at school. I went to therapy and I even took medication for a little bit, but nothing seemed to work for very long. I remember coming home from school and crying because I was embarrassed

Like all anxiety, it only exists in my head. When I am faced with a high-pressure situation, my mind tells my body to “freak out,” so it does, and I cant seem to turn it off. Here’s how it works. When I get an attack my insides feel like they are squeezing together. It feels like all the adrenaline in my body is rushing to my head and is weighing it down. Soon, my body follows and I am crouching on the ground. I try to get up but I cant because my legs are too weak.

I missed out on a lot of things because I was too scared. Before I knew it, the thing controlling me wasn’t the anxiety itself, but the fear of having an anxiety attack.

When I got to college, I was determined to get my anxiety under control, and I did, for a little while. I didn’t have many attacks at all my first year, and it felt great. My second year I joined a sorority, and the attacks did become more frequent, however, my sorority has provided me with people who really do support me. I never shy away from talking bout my anxiety with them, and I am very thankful that I can be comfortable enough to be myself. I am a junior this year, and I am finding that my anxiety attacks are kind of unpredictable. Sometimes I get anxiety during simple conversations, or even just sitting in class, however, I learned not to get upset and cry after every attack. Instead I have learned to poke some fun at it. I know it seems weird and anxiety is not something to be made fun of, but it makes me feel better when I can talk about it. I still get upset sometimes, but the more people who know about it, the easier it is to deal with.

For as long as I can remember, I have always asked God to take it away. I thought it was a curse, but I’ve realized that it is a part of what makes me, me. I am still trying to get it under control, but I will no longer let it control me. The best advice I can give to someone going through this is to talk to people, because we aren’t in high school anymore. People won’t judge you or laugh at you, people want to help and support you. When you find people who understand, it becomes a whole lot easier to understand it yourself.

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8 Reasons Why My Dad Is the Most Important Man In My Life

Forever my number one guy.
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Growing up, there's been one consistent man I can always count on, my father. In any aspect of my life, my dad has always been there, showing me unconditional love and respect every day. No matter what, I know that my dad will always be the most important man in my life for many reasons.

1. He has always been there.

Literally. From the day I was born until today, I have never not been able to count on my dad to be there for me, uplift me and be the best dad he can be.

2. He learned to adapt and suffer through girly trends to make me happy.

I'm sure when my dad was younger and pictured his future, he didn't think about the Barbie pretend pageants, dressing up as a princess, perfecting my pigtails and enduring other countless girly events. My dad never turned me down when I wanted to play a game, no matter what and was always willing to help me pick out cute outfits and do my hair before preschool.

3. He sends the cutest texts.

Random text messages since I have gotten my own cell phone have always come my way from my dad. Those randoms "I love you so much" and "I am so proud of you" never fail to make me smile, and I can always count on my dad for an adorable text message when I'm feeling down.

4. He taught me how to be brave.

When I needed to learn how to swim, he threw me in the pool. When I needed to learn how to ride a bike, he went alongside me and made sure I didn't fall too badly. When I needed to learn how to drive, he was there next to me, making sure I didn't crash.

5. He encourages me to best the best I can be.

My dad sees the best in me, no matter how much I fail. He's always there to support me and turn my failures into successes. He can sit on the phone with me for hours, talking future career stuff and listening to me lay out my future plans and goals. He wants the absolute best for me, and no is never an option, he is always willing to do whatever it takes to get me where I need to be.

6. He gets sentimental way too often, but it's cute.

Whether you're sitting down at the kitchen table, reminiscing about your childhood, or that one song comes on that your dad insists you will dance to together on your wedding day, your dad's emotions often come out in the cutest possible way, forever reminding you how loved you are.


7. He supports you, emotionally and financially.

Need to vent about a guy in your life that isn't treating you well? My dad is there. Need some extra cash to help fund spring break? He's there for that, too.

8. He shows me how I should be treated.

Yes, my dad treats me like a princess, and I don't expect every guy I meet to wait on me hand and foot, but I do expect respect, and that's exactly what my dad showed I deserve. From the way he loves, admires, and respects me, he shows me that there are guys out there who will one day come along and treat me like that. My dad always advises me to not put up with less than I deserve and assures me that the right guy will come along one day.

For these reasons and more, my dad will forever be my No. 1 man. I love you!

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10 TV Shows You Need To Watch On Hulu

Hulu is slept on

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I have recently moved to watch shows and movies on Hulu and Netflix. Hulu has a lot of great shows and movies to offer that aren't on Netflix. While Netflix is still great, Hulu is definitely starting to grow on me. Here are some shows that I have watched or have started watching on Hulu that I think are pretty great!

1. 11.22.63

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If you love James Franco and Stephen King, you'll love this show. The first episode is a bit long, but all the other episodes are only 45 minutes. The plot line is pretty interesting. I also like that it doesn't tell you everything, it shows it to you and you piece things together.

2. The Act

The fact that this show is based on a true story is just insane. The acting is really great, especially if you watch actual videos of Gypsy, Joey King does a great job.

3. Castle Rock

Another Stephen King masterpiece. This show is riveting and really makes you think about what the truth is in the context of the story, and brings in some ethical questions.

4. Future Man

I've only recently started this but it's pretty interesting and funny.

5. The O.C.

The O.C. (TV Series 2003–2007) - IMDb

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This show was great. Sometimes it was a bit annoying, but it is a classic show from the early 2000s. You really become invested in all the characters and your opinion may change on some characters because they grow and develop throughout the show.

6. The Handmaid's Tale

If you've read the book, you should definitely watch the show.

7. Obsession: Dark Desires

https://www.hulu.com/

I just love true crime stories and this really dives deep into crime stories and the darkest parts of humanity.

8. Intervention

This show can be really sad or frustrating, but I think it's good for people to see the reality of addiction.

9. Smallville

Smallville (2001-2011)

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I also started this one very recently and I've always wanted to watch it. It can be cheesy but it's pretty entertaining.

10. Brooklyn Nine-Nine

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This is a great show if you want to laugh. I love all of the characters and everything they bring to the table.

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