One of the inevitable facts of life is death, not only death of one’s self but death of loved ones.
When a loved one passes it feels as if the world stops, all surrounding noise is muffled, and life will never go on as it once did. The funeral and burial take place and everyone suffers through trying to be strong for one another, the world continues to turn even if life does not seem to. One day it will have been a while since the last visit to the grave and the realization that the grass has grown back over the fresh dirt that was there not very long ago will sink in. The world has moved on and some little part deep within your heart feels like it’s time for you to be okay too.
As the dirt is being removed from the ground to soon blanket a loved one, as the people surrounding are experiencing denial. It’s too soon for them to fathom death, none of it is real. This is a foggy dream and they will wake up soon. This protects the grievers from feeling overwhelmed by putting them in slow motion.
As the dirt settles around the coffin, pain settles around the hearts of those affected. When the shock wears off it’s easy to feel guilt and pain. Guilty of things done and not done with the deceased, survivors guilt for some. why was it fair for them to die when others were older or seemingly more deserving? Pain makes people think things that originally wouldn’t cross their mind.
Suddenly the dirt is as hard the ground around it. The only thing harder is the heart of the griever. By this time those seemingly terrible thoughts have given way to anger. Anger may cause grieving individuals to say things they don’t mean in regards to laying blame in the wrong arms.
The grave is still very bare, much like the survivor’s emotions. Depression sets in after the anger pushed every who was close away. There is no longer a sense of self only a sense of self without a dear companion. Nothing will ever be the same.
The grave hasn’t been visited in a while, and neither has the thought of death. This is when grief isn’t so dull. The upward side where day-to-day isn’t hard any. Holidays hurt and everything isn’t okay quite yet, but there is a sense normal in life again.
We see a glimmer of hope that vegetation may grow in the little patch of dirt. The living things around this very dead patch are trying to reconstruct and so are the grieving loved ones of the once lively deceased family member. Everything is beginning to build back up again just as it did before the death.
One day the grass has all grown back and the visitors realize the world had moved on without their loved one. It’s time for acceptance of what’s been inevitable throughout life, death.
When we lose people we are close to, its easy to try too hard to keep it all together. Its very important to go through all of the stages of grief in order to heal properly. Another important thing to know is that you’re not alone. Someone in your family or friend group is or probably has been in the position of mourning the dead. You are never alone.
This has been the seven stages of grief.
