Maybe things will be all right. Maybe they won’t. I think you’re at your strongest when you see that you have a call from a person who used to be a considerable part of your existence, but you are completely content with not answering. Not forfeiting yourself to go back in time to relive every other moment that one person called and disappointed you.

You finally find that you love yourself enough to say, Hey, self, you don’t have to pick up the phone. In fact, you don’t have to put forth any more time for those people who do not do the same for you. And guess what else? You don’t have to feel guilty about it, either! Because it’s your life!

It took me too long to figure that out. But I think that you have to answer those calls, and let them destroy enough of you before you’re finally able to stand up for your worn out soul. Something in me is free, now, because of it. I can’t describe this as well as it deserves to be described, probably because it is something that can only be felt. I hope one day when you’re stuck in the middle of letting go and hanging on, you’ll remember that no person who was truly able to focus on your best interests would ever put you in such a predicament. The perfect place for people and things that you can’t find a spot for on your shelf of life is in the attic. Maybe, one day when you’re ready, you can reopen those boxes and dust them off. Or, maybe you’ll decide to leave them outside on the curb to avoid clouding your precious space with things that no longer serve you. Everything will seem dark for a while until you realize that you have to become your own source of happiness, your own light. Of course, you only discover that when they leave.

I made up my mind to believe that I deserve all the happiness in the world. And I’m not talking about the kind that comes from other people. I’m talking about the happiness that stems from within myself – true, honest-to-goodness joy for the life that I get to live. In honor of this realization, I came up with a theory: What if I actually got to know me on a personal level. I mean, I spend every waking moment with myself, but I don’t really know who I am. I look at the same person in the mirror every day and I’m so used to my features. I thought, what if just for a little while, I started looking at myself like it was for the first time?

This might sound a little bit absurd, but I decided a few weeks ago that I would start dating myself. Get to know who I am, you know? And since then, I’ve been quite appreciative of my quirks. I hold my own hand (obviously I mean this metaphorically, but you get the idea). I go to sleep with myself at night and wake myself up every morning. I’m not even embarrassed to say that I give myself little pep talks in the mirror almost every morning.

There is so much effort we put in to becoming close to someone. We appreciate them, admire their flaws, celebrate their successes, and in time, express our love for them. Dating is a wonderful concept, but as I will be entering my 20s, a new and exciting time in my life, I have become aware that all I really want is to make myself proud. I want to do well in school, explore the world, find out what inspirations are out there to catalyze my passions. I’ve been wondering why I haven’t been motivated to put myself out there (in the dating scene) and I have come to understand that it is simply because I am content on my own. Why force something if you already have a good thing going, right?

We do so much for ourselves that it just becomes the norm. It’s a casual thing to get up and start the day. To put on clothes and go out into the world, basing our worth on what other people see us as. If you think about it, there is so much of you that not even the person who is closest to you will ever see. There are things you only feel within yourself, things that can’t be expressed to anyone. That is just simply because other people are not you.

To think that a body produces 4,000 heartbeats every minute, and that is the sole reason why we are alive, is really a wondrous concept to me. We aren’t entitled to anything in this life. Not love, respect, compassion, etc. All of those things are conscious choices that we make every single day. The moment I realized this, I understood that it is a gift that should not be wasted. And I know for a fact that I can’t waste love on myself. I will be with myself until the day that I die. Since I don’t know when that day will be, how could I not want to reach that form of self-actualization before it’s too late?

Being on my own does not mean I am lonely. Of course, I have had my fair share of times where I did feel very alone. I’m only human, and humans are very needy, and we pity ourselves more often than not. But I think you are at your fullest when you enjoy your own company. Don’t get me wrong; I absolutely adore being in the company of others. Sometimes, it just needs to be about doing what’s best for you. Being the person you need. I don’t think there has ever been a time in my life where I have felt this good. This free. So I encourage you all to date yourselves because there is a 100 percent success rate in that relationship. It has even improved the connections that I have with other people. I’m so excited about this. I am finally just at a point in my life where I need myself more than I need anyone else.