losing your best friend when she starts dating

You Don't Have To Choose Between Your Boyfriend And Your Friends, You Can Have Both

It doesn't have to be either/or, it can be both.

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My best friends are some of the most important people in my life. I couldn't imagine my life without them in it.

Which is why, as soon as I start dating someone new, I plan to keep those best friends as some of the most important people in my life. The status of my relationship does not alter how important my friends are, it only adds an extra important person into my life.

Too often girls and guys find that their romantic relationships overshadow their personal friendships as soon as they enter a new dating phase. Maybe a guy swept them off their feet? Some new girl completely blew them away?

Meeting a new significant other is great and something to be excited about. And that person definitely should become a huge and important part of your life, especially if you see yourself staying with them long-term. However, getting into a serious relationship is not an excuse to abandon your other friends.

This is something that has happened to me several times, and I know that it has happened to several of my other friends as well.

And it hurts.

You were there for that friend through everything, the heartbreaks of past failed relationships, the good and the bad times, yet, now that they have found a boyfriend or girlfriend, suddenly it's as if you don't matter the same way anymore. It seems as if they don't value your friendship as much now that they have someone new.

This doesn't have to be the case! Just because you've started dating someone does not mean that that person should take over your life.

You can and should make time to see your other friends as well. It's not healthy to devote all your time and energy to just one person. What happens if that relationship fails? Then where does that leave you?

This is exactly what happened to one of my close friends. She started dating a guy who she thought was going to be the person she was going to spend the rest of her life with. They did everything together and dated for several years. But in the end, it didn't work out.

The problem was that she had devoted so much to her boyfriend that when they broke up, she had no other friends to turn to. She had neglected them and made excuses for so long that they had moved on and she didn't know who her friends were anymore. It was a really difficult and lonely time for her and she had to spend a lot of time rebuilding those friendships and creating new ones.

Dating is a beautiful thing and something to be celebrated with your friends. Go on double dates, bring him/her along to meet your friends. Spend a girls night in occasionally or have a guys night out. It's healthy to have friendships outside of your dating relationship.

Don't let just one person monopolize all your time. Your best friends are crazy important. After all, you've gotta find your bridesmaids and groomsmen first. I know for me, my best friends will be just as important to me once I start dating again as they were when I was single.

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The Truth About Dating A Girl With An Anxiety Disorder

She knows how annoying she can be, but she just prays you love her regardless of her flaws.

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Anxiety: A nervous disorder characterized by a state of excessive uneasiness and apprehension, typically with compulsive behavior or panic attacks.

The definition makes it sound really daunting. Truthfully, there is no one way to describe generalized anxiety disorder if you have it. It is hard to live with, hard to cope with and unfortunately, really hard to date with.

Girls with anxiety are different than the average girl when it comes to relationships. That's just an honest statement, no matter how much it hurts me to say it.

We need the constant reminder that you love us, even though we know in our hearts that you do. We panic when you don't answer your phone, in fear that we did something wrong. We care about your feelings when you say that we don't need to worry and we need to be a little calmer. But it's so damn hard.

It isn't easy to love someone who worries about everything 24/7. Half the time, we know we shouldn't be doing the things we do. We know we shouldn't blow up your phone or ask just one more time if you are mad at us. But we can't help it. It says it right in the definition: compulsive behavior due to excessive uneasiness.

Being with a girl with anxiety is probably downright exhausting. It's exhausting for us to have our minds constantly running and worrying. But I promise it's worth it.

We come to you with everything because you are the one person who always knows how to make us feel better. When we are happy, you are the one person we want to be happy with. We all know the constant reassurance, reminders and the same old arguments get old. It gets old to us too.

There was never a time I wanted to have a panic attack because my boyfriend wasn't answering his phone. In my head, I knew where he was because he was usually in the same three places. I knew he wasn't mad at me because I didn't do anything to make him upset. I knew how busy he was with his classes and he was probably studying and I needed to give him space. But the little voice in my head always argued, "What if you did something wrong? What if he's ignoring you because he's angry? What if he's seen your messages and calls, but no longer wants to be with you?" And then I give in. I call, I text, I cry, I panic. Only to feel even worse 10, 30 or 50 minutes later because you answer angrily, telling me what I already knew after I did what I knew I shouldn't have done.

Having anxiety is almost like having a drug addiction. You know all the things that trigger you. You know all the ways to stay away from the bad places in your mind so you don't end up relapsing. But you do anyway and it hurts worse every single time.

Dating a girl with anxiety is as hard as it gets, but she will love you like no other. She is so incredibly thankful for all the things you put up with to be with her. Because she is worried about being loved, she goes the extra mile to always remind you how much you are loved. She always asks if you are ok because she cares about the answer and knows what it's like not to be ok.

The truth is that dating anybody with anxiety is difficult, but it isn't impossible. You get back everything you put in, even though you may not realize it. Trust me, she is sorry for being the annoying, crying, worried, naggy mess and it embarrasses her because she knows better and she wants to be better for you. But please love her. Hold her, understand her, listen to her, calm her, be there for her. In your heart, you know she would turn around and do all the same things for you in a heartbeat.

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Goodbye School, Hello Real World

I'm ready for ya!

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It's starting to hit me.

I've been in school, year after year, since kindergarten. Maybe even pre-school!

Now, I'm about to graduate with my bachelors in communication and I couldn't be more proud of myself. I'll say it. I often sugarcoat it or suppress it but d*mn it. I'm going to applaud myself. It was hard work. It took a lot of motivation, determination, (caffeine), and willpower to get to where I am today. I worked my ass off.

That being said, I can't help but think... What is life without due dates? What is life like without scrambling to turn in an assignment that's due at 11:59 PM? What is life like with actual sleep? Sleep? I don't know her.

Like I keep telling my boyfriend and my parents, I don't have it all figured out. At least not right now. But I will, and I'm in no rush to land my dream job right now. If anything, I want to take a year to myself. I want to travel. I want to sleep in if I d*mn well please! I want to read as many books as I want. I want to write till my fingers fall off (OK, maybe not that).

You get the jist.

I'm free. I can do and be whatever I want. And you know what? That's terrifying.

I'm lost. I've followed this structure for so long. Now what?

I don't have all the answers yet. But for now, at least right at this very moment, I'm so thankful to have been able to receive such an amazing education. And to be able to say I'm graduating with my bachelors in communication at 21 is an accomplishment in itself.

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