Call me old fashioned, but it seems like dating has lost its charm. The once romantic gesture of courting has turned into, “Hey, wanna chill Friday?” Going steady no longer promises exclusivity. With online dating, Facebook, and Tinder, it has become much easier to know people through a screen name rather than actual interaction. Gone are the days of handwritten love notes and mustering up the courage to formally ask someone out on a date. The internet has brought us a wave of reconnected family members and newly discovered friends, but the development of social media has adversely affected our modern dating culture. In fact, social media and technology have ruined dating and romance as we know it.
Our generation’s need for instant gratification has undermined the idea of dating as a whole. In 140 characters or less, we profess our love…and disdain for each other. We ask for dates at 2am and blow each other off because, after all, the person on the other side of the phone could not possibly have feelings. Our conversations, too often, have turned entirely to text. One of the saddest things is that our long-term goals have changed so drastically. We no longer want to be happily married and watch our grandchildren grow, play, and have children of their own, or think about being together to see our 50th anniversary. We want people who will text us back right away and tag us on Instagram, because relationships are no longer about making each other happy, but are instead about making all of our “friends” jealous.
In the olden days of…well…any other time, before smartphones and household internet, asking someone on a date involved a lot of courage along with actual feelings of affection for that person. Asking someone out on a date has become as simple sending a quick text. There is nothing to be proud of when you ask someone out through text. We used to look rejection in the face but now the sting of an unwanted date only goes as far as a name on a screen.
Our generation is better known for hook-ups than it is marriage. More people meet online than they do in person, and now there are entire apps devoted to our “we’re just chillin” culture. Why do we long for the relationships we see in movies but then allow our dates to treat us as if we’re worthless? People used to show up for dates nervous and a little anxious; they were genuinely interested in the other person, and cared what they thought of them. We expected more.
Let’s go back to when dating required effort. Let’s put ourselves out there again and actually risk some real feelings for the chance for something amazing. Our dates should be more than “just hanging out.” If we put as much time and energy into getting to know each other as we do trying to keep up with our followers, then maybe we could make dating “real” again.
