Dating "Older" Women
Start writing a post
Relationships

Dating "Older" Women

Age before beauty.

29
Dating "Older" Women
Redd Angelo

When it comes to dating, everyone has their preferences.

We prefer older, younger, blondes, brunettes, redheads, tattoos, and piercings; the list can go on and on as far as preferences go.

Are you alone in this or are there others out there that understand your preferences and your reasons for why?

Take me for example. I love, Love, LOVE "older" women. My life partner and I have a twelve-year age gap. Before that, there was a 27-year age gap, and even before that, a seven-year age gap.

Now, don't get me wrong, I have tried dating younger, same age, and a year or so older. It always ended up the same...it ended. Overall, age had nothing to do with the reasons for terminated relationships, but it had all to do with maturity, and in some instances, the fact I was not out yet.

I did discover that I preferred being with older women. As I have gotten older, my preferences and reasons for my preferences have changed and settled. But let me tell you—at times, dating older women has been intimidating for me.

Experience. I mean like, hello! I spent over half my life playing the hetero card and my life partner is a Gold Star Lesbian (someone who has never in their entire life slept with a man)—talk about intimidating. What if I don't do things right? What if I just suck at everything? Are her expectations outlandishly high?

The answer to this is going to be dependent on the person, and that, my friends, is a true story. Yes, the expectations can be higher; however, if this is a person who honestly cares about you, then they will be patient and they will guide you. Then there is the no crowd. Some people want someone with more experience. It all varies.

Age is just a number. To most this is so accurate, and to others, there is a line that has been drawn that will not be crossed.

Remember me mentioning how dating an older lesbian can be intimidating because of their experience? Did you know that older lesbians also find us younguns intimidating? I kid you not! One of the most common phrases I have heard is, "You may decide to trade in for a newer model."

"Like, hello! Obviously, that won't happen," is what runs through my mind, and then it cycles back to, "Maybe they say that because they want someone more experienced."

The cycle continues.

Remember when. This is the part that really gets me going, and not in a bad way. One thing that I really love about dating an older woman is when she really stops and thinks about some of the comments she makes. For example, she says, "I graduated in 1996," so at that point, you figure that this person would be 17 or 18 and you may respond, "Oh, I was only 8 then." At that point they will generally tell you to shut up and not talk about it any more. I always giggle in those situations. Or when they act surprised when you've never heard of their favorite band that was popular in the early 80's.

These three points make up my cycle of dating someone who is older, whether you are in a same-sex relationship, heterosexual relationship, polyamorous, and so on, there are always going to be a variety of concerns from each party.

Each of these concerns are what makes the relationships flow. Together you work together as a team to make things work.

Let me let you in on my personal secret.

Confidence.

When you start worrying about your lack of experience, be confident. Don't let on that you are inexperienced, own it!

Don't let them be intimidated; show your confidence in them and let them know they have nothing to worry about.

As for the difference in years, give them Hell for it. In the end you will both be laughing and that is key for a healthy relationship.

Keep in mind, I am no relationship expert. This is all based on my personal experience and it isn't the same for everyone.

"Every love story is beautiful, but ours is my favorite." — Unknown

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

11684
Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.

9870

Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less
google images

Fashion just keeps growing and changing and old trends are made new! Now, I'm no beauty guru, just a beauty guru wannabe, but personally I have compiled some stylish wardrobe must haves! These can be cute assets to go back to school or just to catch up on some of the latest trends...

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

There's More To A Relationship Than Netflix

Summertime is only 93 days of the year, Find something to do!

9678
Tallie Ammar

Summertime is ideal for more than just hanging out and binging your favorite TV series with your friends. Although summer does bring rain and thunderstorms which is perfect for those binging days, take advantage of those nice and sunny days. There is so many opportunities to get out of the house and enjoy the season before the snow starts to come back. Here are 25 interesting dates that are doable almost anywhere for any age.

Keep Reading... Show less
Leilani Encarnacion

Philadelphia has its beauty, but some of you may have not been to some of the most beautiful hidden spots in the city. This summer is a chance for new adventures and exploring, so here are a few places that I highly recommend you should visit at least once.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments