Author’s Notes: The gender roles denoted in this article are interchangeable and are in no way a reflection of what I consider right or wrong.

My great-great uncle, Gil, would always tell me the story of how he and his wife of over 75 years, Adelaide, met. I use the word “always” because I would ask every time I got the chance. It just gave me the warmest feeling hearing him tell it the same way every time. A sort of nostalgia I long for today.

“You could be as ugly as the mud fence,” he’d say. “But if you could dance, I’d date you.”

Now Uncle Gil was being facetious, of course, but he wasn’t far off from the reality of dating in the early 20th century. In a world where social interaction was, well… social, it seemed people actually got to know each other before engaging in relationships.

Gil and Ad would swing left and right on the dance floor, falling in love and truly getting to enjoy each other’s company.

However, nowadays, instead of swinging left and right, we swipe left or right based solely on physical appearance.

And that got me to thinking: What truly is the difference between dating now and then?

1. HOW WE MET

Then: Years ago, it seems our grandparents may have met at the most odd of occasions. Their mothers may have set them up, while others may have met at a dance. I imagine a lad on his daily paper route may have met the love of his life while delivering to a house where a young gal who was helping her mother garden (you know, because children actually helped around the house and went outside). He would make sure to go by that house at the same time every day just to see her face.

Now: Some dude sees a really hot chick on Facebook he never talked to and sends her a message about some bullshit they both don’t care about. Maybe she gives him her number and they text until one night they meet up drunk at a party and hook up. But don’t worry, they won’t consider themselves dating for a few more months once they both agree to not engage with other people. Also, it won’t truly be official until their social media profiles reflect it. Enjoy telling that story to your grandchildren.

2. OUR FIRST DATE

Then: The boy may ask his father to borrow the car and only gain permission if he agrees to hand-clean it and promise to be home by midnight. He spends all day tidying up the vehicle and finally rings the young lady’s landline to let her know he is on his way. He arrives and is greeted at the door by the girl’s father and sits down to get to know him briefly. He then walks his date to the passenger side door and proceeds to take her out to dinner and to the park for a walk. He brings her home 10 minutes before curfew and walks her to the front door. If he’s lucky, he gets a kiss on the cheek.

Now: The dude texts the girl he’s been “talking to” about possibly hanging out soon. But they will never call it a “date.” He tells her to be ready by 6 p.m., and he comes 30 minutes late. He honks his horn and she comes running out. They go to Chipotle (no hate on Chipotle, I love it), and then drive around mindlessly. He takes her home after curfew, and they say goodbye in the car (you know, the awkward car hug over the gear shift). If she’s lucky, he won’t get mad at just a kiss on the cheek.

3. COMMUNICATION

Then: 50 or more years ago, couples would actually talk on the phone. Before you freak out and try to fathom what that’s like, remember this: these phones had cords. So they were actually limited in where they could talk. Handwritten letters were not a thing of the past, either. Many couples would exchange notes in the mail to make sure they always knew they were thinking about each other.

Now: In a world of “read receipts” and other electronic communication, say goodbye to phone calls and letters. Couples will text each other everything. Sure, it’s far more convenient than the methods of the past, but there’s something to be said for recognizing your significant other’s voice on the phone or handwriting on paper. However, the recognition of those things has been exchanged for usage of emojis and response time.

4. SPENDING TIME TOGETHER

Then: Couples would try to find new things to do. They weren’t enamored with the technology around them and actually made plans. One day they may go to the theater to watch a movie before going to the ice cream parlor, and the next may be full of funnel cakes and other carnival foods at a county fair. Prior to social media, the only social interaction people got was out in public. Ever hear your grandparents talk about “going steady?” Yeah, that’s this part.

Now: “Netflix and chill?”

5. SEXUAL RELATIONS

Then: The terms “necking” and “petting” were heavily used and understood by those participating in dating. Necking would refer to anything from the neck and above, while petting referred to actions below. Humans are humans and always have been. There isn’t much a difference in the act of sexual relations compared to now. However, it appeared virginity was a much more important thing to hold on to.

Now: “Nudes or GTFO.” Welcome again to the age of media. We are surrounded by sex in all forms of advertising and marketing. While “hooking up” and having sex aren’t a new phenomenon, they have become much more casual in their meaning and their fruition. Men and women can easily get offended if denied sex and take it personally. I’m not exactly sure when this started, but I can only assume it has to do with Y2K (let’s just blame everything on Y2K for now).

LET’S CLOSE THIS THING OUT

It’s 2016, and I’m not saying there aren’t any guys or girls out there who don’t appreciate a good date. There still are people who long for the “then” and are willing to put in the work. But they’re probably all taken by now or will be soon, so you might want to try to find them. Unless you’re cool with dating someone and pretending like they don’t matter. Then stick with that.

I’m not saying that today’s dating methods and practices are wrong. I’m just saying they are stupid and no one should use them anymore. Ever.

Think I left something out or want to share your opinion? Feel free to comment below.