Those who say high school relationships are "pointless" and a "waste of time," are so ridiculously wrong. I started dating in middle school, but it definitely wasn't anything close to a "relationship" until high school, and even then it still wasn't anything.
You know that Taylor Swift song that goes something like "cause when you're fifteen and somebody tells you they love you, you're gonna believe them,". That's pretty much right on track. I was fifteen and thought that the world couldn't get much better. I thought I had found that perfect match so young. Wrong.
In life you're going to meet people that are instantly your best friend, or who feel like your soul mate, but people change, and people grow into people that will no longer fit the mold you need them to fit. By my junior year, the boy that I didn't think would ever leave my life, left my life.
I don't want to sit here and bash him, out of respect for our new-found friendship, but it didn't end well. His life wasn't in a good place, and he took that anger and frustration out on me, not physically but emotionally. He knew how to read me like a book, he still does. He knows exactly how to anger me, but he also knows that something is wrong way before I care to admit that I'm upset. This relationship was toxic; but nonetheless, it assisted in the building of my character.
After a 3 year relationship ends, I'd suggest taking some time for yourself. Allow yourself to fully heal, something I didn't do. I jumped into another relationship after five months, and quickly figured out that relationships may not be my strong suit. He was a year older than I was, planning on attending the same university as I was, and planned to major in the same field. I thought it was perfect. I didn't allow myself to fully be who I truly was in the duration of this relationship. I was cold, I was stand-offish; I wasn't going to allow this guy to take advantage of my emotions or my confidence that I worked so hard to build back up after the last break-up. Which resulted in yet another, horrible ending.
"Friends" is not what this ex and I are, by any means. We aren't even civil. In fact, we have a no contact order (thank you to my RA and University Police). He is allowed to be on campus, and he is allowed to be in all the same classes if that's how things work out, but he is unable to contact me directly, or ask about me to my friends or my family.
We broke up in February of 2015, but finally cut communication in August. I was being harassed. I felt uncomfortable. I definitely had a panic attack when my best friend on the floor told me that my ex was back in Whitewater, where he doesn't go to school. I was pushed towards resources at the health center, in the Dean of Students office, the assistant complex director of my residence hall, and of course my RA.
As someone who was destroyed mentally and emotionally by these two guys, I have the satisfaction of being confident and secure in my own skin. By eighteen, I can satisfactorily say that my confidence is my favorite thing about myself. It took my entire junior and senior year of high school to realize that my satisfaction of who I am is the number one reason I am sincerely and genuinely happy. Despite the harassment carrying through my first semester, I had built myself back up throughout the summer. I cannot even imagine the outcome of my college experience if I hadn't dated in high school, if I didn't have horror stories of high school relationships in my past, to put me in a solid place in my life now.
High school should never be the best four years of anyone's life. Find yourself, trust yourself, embrace yourself. Just because you break up and no longer have a football jersey to wear to Friday night games, or during homecoming week, does not mean that life sucks. Just because he's spreading rumors, does not mean that you are who he says you are. Most importantly, if you feel threatened, if you feel harassed or stalked, tell someone.
You will meet people that change you, for better and for worse. You will meet people who's only agenda is to screw you over. There are some very cruel and cold-hearted people in the world. I can and I will promise you, that you become who you surround yourself with. My support system: my parents, my brother, my extended family, my friends, and my campus is jam-packed with loving, caring, strong, and highly motivated people with a positive outlook on life.
Without hearing that no one would ever be there for me, I wouldn't be as close to my friends as I am. Without being accused of lying, I wouldn't be as open and honest as I am. Without the rumors, the stories, circling around the school halls, I wouldn't be as strong as I am. Without those said rumors, and stories, I would never have realized who was actually taking my side, defending me, and who was truly my friend. Without the harassment, I would have never gotten so close to my RA so quickly into the semester, and I never would have known the impact that she or the assistant complex director would make on my experience at UW-Whitewater.
My previous relationships have been the biggest motivation to continue to be happy, to take another step, and to not stoop down to their levels. Success is the best revenge, so trust me when I say their revenge is coming.
