My Mental Health Is More Important Than Swiping Right
Start writing a post
Health and Wellness

Dating Apps Had A Negative Effect On My Mental Health, So I Deleted Them

Haaaaave you met my social anxiety?

Dating Apps Had A Negative Effect On My Mental Health, So I Deleted Them
Emily Gigliotti

I've been on and off dating apps since my freshman year of college. And each time I've re-downloaded them, it's been for different reasons.

Sometimes it's because I'm bored and swiping is an easy way to pass the time as you fall asleep at night. Sometimes it's because I want an ego boost. One time it was because I was in Florida visiting a friend and we wanted to mess with people she went to high school with.

In my most recent case of downloading, I was really set on finding a boyfriend. I've spent the past year of my life focusing on getting to know myself, learning how to successfully manage my mental health, and finding success in both my academic and professional lives.

I'm pretty damn proud of the person I've become. I've reached a point where I can look at the choices I've made to find success and say, "Yeah, what I do is pretty damn cool."

Because I know who I am, at least what my role in this world is, for the time being, I'm in a place where I am so damn ready to share that with another person. So yeah, I walk into a first date with the intention of laying it out there that I'm not here to play games. I want the real damn thing.

Tinder. Bumble. Hinge. I've done a lot of swiping. But I realized it was getting exhausting. Telling your story, even the basics, over and over again, can take a toll on you. Add in, "Hey, I manage some real shit with my mental health on a daily basis," and there's an extra layer of fear that people will judge and run in the opposite direction.

"Hey" does absolutely nothing for me. You're an adult. Learn how to start a real conversation. Don't just ask for my Snapchat. That doesn't show me that you're interested in getting to know me; that just makes me think you have an agenda to get me to send you the kind of pictures I have no intention of sending.

And then there's the ghosting. Days will go by and you'll hear nothing. All of a sudden, someone needs attention and that's all you're good for.

It's not that I wasn't getting asked on dates either, because I certainly was. But then my anxiety kicked in, and the thought of spending a couple of hours trying to keep a conversation going while you can feel awkward in the air was not appealing at all.

The worst thing about it all? I would get to a third date. I would think things were going well. And then all of a sudden: "You're great. You're so different than anyone I've seen in a while. I really enjoy spending time with you. But I just don't have time." And this happened again and again.

DUDE. You were making time. All of a sudden you don't feel like doing that anymore? Thank u, next.

I realized I wasn't going to find what I wanted swiping through life. It wasn't until I found myself on the couch on a Friday night in my Victoria's Secret pajama set sipping tequila that I realized this was seriously affecting my mental health.

It's a generalization, but not a lot of people on dating apps are necessarily looking for a relationship. So why was I wasting my time, chatting it up with guys I would never meet, as a way to numb the pain of being single? Why was I exhausting my emotional energy on these guys who only texted me after 10 PM in the hopes that I would come over to their apartments? Why was I repeatedly letting myself feel let down by the fact that I couldn't find "success" on these apps?

I was tired. I was starting to feel a little depressed. I was feeling like I wasn't enough.

Delete. Delete. Delete.

Tinder. Bumble. Hinge. All gone.

And suddenly I felt the weight lifted off of my shoulders. I stopped worrying if that cute guy I swiped right on would think I was hot enough. I stopped worrying if I wouldn't meet the expectations of the person I was meeting for a date who only knew me through the best pictures of myself that I was putting on a profile.

I made a commitment to myself that I would be honest and transparent on my social media. And I couldn't do that if I kept these profiles.

So here I am. Still single. But I know that I won't change that by swiping left or right. Because I can't find what I want, need, and deserve based on an algorithm.

From Your Site Articles
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
the beatles
Wikipedia Commons

For as long as I can remember, I have been listening to The Beatles. Every year, my mom would appropriately blast “Birthday” on anyone’s birthday. I knew all of the words to “Back In The U.S.S.R” by the time I was 5 (Even though I had no idea what or where the U.S.S.R was). I grew up with John, Paul, George, and Ringo instead Justin, JC, Joey, Chris and Lance (I had to google N*SYNC to remember their names). The highlight of my short life was Paul McCartney in concert twice. I’m not someone to “fangirl” but those days I fangirled hard. The music of The Beatles has gotten me through everything. Their songs have brought me more joy, peace, and comfort. I can listen to them in any situation and find what I need. Here are the best lyrics from The Beatles for every and any occasion.

Keep Reading...Show less
Being Invisible The Best Super Power

The best superpower ever? Being invisible of course. Imagine just being able to go from seen to unseen on a dime. Who wouldn't want to have the opportunity to be invisible? Superman and Batman have nothing on being invisible with their superhero abilities. Here are some things that you could do while being invisible, because being invisible can benefit your social life too.

Keep Reading...Show less

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

college students waiting in a long line in the hallway

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments