Admittedly, I haven't been the best at finding a significant other. In most cases, I'll meet a guy, and either he will friendzone me or I'll friendzone him, and that friendship turns out to be what both of us needed — that support, laughter, and feeling of true freedom to be ourselves. I've made countless friends this way and while I'm genuinely happy I met them and we have the relationships we do, I just wish one of them would stick.
However, they say that if you're deliberately looking for a relationship, the likelihood of it happening is slim to none. It's like trying to watch a pot of water on the stove, and it just won't boil. As long as you keep looking or keep willing for it to happen, the universe won't give you the satisfaction.
I've had some sort of dating app on my phone since my junior year of high school, which brings us to the grand total of six years. Whether, it be Tinder, MeetMe, Bumble, or even Facebook Dating (I know) I had at least one of them downloaded for my boredom-induced pleasure. When I downloaded each of them at one point or another, it was usually solely for the reason that boredom had struck and I needed something to do — or something to swipe rather.
While most people in my generation used these apps for meaningless hookups, I was using them for harmless entertainment to pass the time. While encountering countless creeps and blocking them shortly after, I was reading their posts and looking at pictures until I was content. There were a few times I met amazing guys but, lo and behold, we became the best of friends... some of which have turned out to be the best relationships I've had to this day.
Recently, I had come to the conclusion that these apps were doing me absolutely no good. Aside from the great friends I was making, the actual purpose of the apps wasn't being fulfilled. I finally grew tired of the unsuccessful swipes and decided to take a much-needed break from the online 'dating' scene. What was I truly gaining from it anyway? There was a laugh or two here and there, but there was never a true sight of the benefits that were intended.
Now, I have absolutely no dating profiles to my name or any of the apps on my phone. It honestly feels as if a weight has been lifted. I'm not holding myself to any unreasonable expectations that are customary for these profiles. I'm not being constantly discouraged when I don't get a match. I'm not questioning whether or not I'm good enough in the eyes of complete strangers in my area. I'm not seeking approval from anyone.
If something happens along the way now that I'm not actively looking for a genuine relationship, so be it. They say "sometimes what you're looking for comes when you're not looking at all," and I'm going to live by that for once. I've been single throughout all of my college experience so what's another year or two if it comes to that?
I have only been on this online dating break for about a week now and I already feel better. It's the cleanse I hadn't realized I needed for a while now and I'm glad I made the decision. If you're questioning whether or not you should do the same, I highly recommend it.
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