This poem came from an outpouring of overwhelming depression and anxiety in the midst of college finals. I wrote this to not only show the reality of depression, but also in an attempt to give hope to those that are trapped like me.
The Darkness Of Tonight, The Promised Light Of Tomorrow
The sky is blue, the sun is out
You’re with your friends and having fun
There’s little fear of doubt.
Out of nowhere, your mood has changed
The darkness of depression starts to creep over the sun
Your joys and your sorrows are being rearranged,
But now you have no strength to run.
Your mind is filled with all the projects that are due,
The friends you think you’re hurting,
This new inconvenience caused by you.
The anxiety races while the depression slows you down.
So much to do, but your brain just. won’t. function.
You just want to curl into a ball and sink into the ground
Your friends try to help, but you just want to be alone
Yet solitude is where the darkness descends like a predator going in for the kill
You just want to be held as your soul lets out a moan
Yet you can barely stand to be touched; their hands like a porcupine’s quill
You know that peace is on its way; the Lord has given His decree
And yet you still feel lost like a changing tree
Your branches were once full and vibrant in color,
But your leaves begin to fall as the winter sets in
You’re left in emptiness, loneliness, and squalor
But you are told that spring is on its way,
You’re anxiously waiting to be transformed somehow.
The Savior feels so distant, but He whispers to say:
“My child, you’re almost home. Don’t quit now.”
With tears in your eyes, you hold on tight.
You don’t know how long you can drag yourself through,
But you are trying to hold onto your Father’s promise.
Your knuckles are trembling and white.
You can’t fathom another day like this, but nothing changes with each dawn
Nevertheless, you have to pull yourself up
The world around you is still moving on.
You roll out of bed and put on your mask, trying to seem like the normal you
When you get home your mask falls off, and you cry from the immense weight of the pain
But continue to cling to the Father’s feet, for His promise is not in vain;
The darkness is almost through
This suffering is temporary, but His love shines forever.
Keep going.
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There are so many people out there who struggle with this every single day for what feels like a lifetime. Our world tends to brush these illness under the rug and tell us to get over it and then judge us and say we are going to hell if someone commits suicide. The world needs to know that depression and anxiety is a very serious thing that overwhelms you to the breaking point. I promise that you are surrounded by people like this and you wouldn’t even know it because they try to cover it up, but they are slowing withering away on the inside. Be on the lookout and help the cause, don’t hurt it.
For those of you that are suffering, please know that there is hope in Christ Jesus. I do not know why this happens or why it lasts so long, but His heart is breaking for you. He loves you and he will carry you through, you just have to hold on. It is much easier said than done, but it is worth it. The Bible promises that our present sufferings cannot compare to our future glory and reward in Heaven.
