For the past year or so, I have been happily enjoying the college single life. I have some incredible friendships with both guys and girls, and it's so much easier to go about the day without worrying about impressing someone. This is not to say that there haven't been people I've met that I would want to see where something may go, but it hasn't worked out, and that's no problem.
However, it seems that the decision to be single and wait for a good guy to come along is not one that is universally agreed on. After hearing several comments along the lines of "If you weren't always in gym clothes, guys may notice you more," "Why don't you go to more parties," and, "College guys don't date," it hit me like a ton of bricks. My standards are just too high.
I don't know why it hasn't hit me sooner. Just being silly, I guess. For some reason, I thought that I could maybe find someone to have a serious, committed relationship with. Someone who I don't have to carefully think about what to say to. Someone I can have fun being goofy with but also count on to be there when I need them. Someone nice and trustworthy, who isn't just interested in my body.
It's dawning on me that I would have saved myself a lot of time had it been made known to me that those expectations are simply ridiculous. So, to prevent others from going through life with hopes of meeting Prince Charming, let me offer you some advice. Lower your standards. Or, better yet, don't have any and welcome to the world of the wildly carefree and ludicrously happy.
The odds of finding someone who will actually want to go to dinner or some other date with you are growing slimmer by the minute. Sorry, but that was reserved for the poodle skirts and milkshakes of the 1950s. This is 2016, might as well settle for Netflix and chill! But remember, it's not really settling because there are no more standards.
Along those lines, don't be surprised if whoever is talking to you only winds up being interested in you based on your appearance. There's a fairly good chance they have little to no care in your interests and may not want to share theirs. Hey, look at the positives: now you don't have to talk to them!
Obviously, you're only setting yourself up for confusion and possible disappointment if you want an actual relationship. Maybe if you're lucky, you'll get to the "we're talking" stage where you're basically dating because you've found someone who really does like you and wants to spend time with you (even if you're not engaging in intimate activity or drunk) but you can't define the relationship because that would just be taking it one step too far.
So, to all you college-folk out there: have fun. Enjoy college. Make friends. Learn something (maybe). But, whatever you do, don't you dare make the mistake of having standards or expectations of a relationship. Those are for the people out there who believe they're deserving of someone who loves them for who they are as a person. But if you'd like to be one of those people, I strongly encourage it because, at the end of the day, it doesn't come down to how many people you hooked up with in college.
