Growing up is hard to do. Throughout my life I’ve found that by trying to fit into certain boxes, and mold into society, I’ve lost parts of myself. It’s important to keep my dreams alive, and my personality authentic. There are certain tools that I need to keep as I enter this new phase of my life as a college student. Everyday I carry with me my toolbox, and it gives me the ability to remain myself, while bearing the new responsibilities of adulthood.
The ability to fantasize. When you have to sit in three hour lectures, multiple times per day, it’s impossible to keep your mind entirely on a leash. For me, during those precious ten minute breaks, I leave the classroom. The school. The country. The world. For ten minutes I close my eyes and let my mind run completely free. Any dream, any fantasy, any reality is possible. By the time break is up, I can reign it in. Most days, miniature breaks to my fantasy lands are the sole reason I can pay attention for the rest of the lecture without a problem.
Creativity. I truly believe the ability to think outside the box and live my life surrounded by music and words and art has made me who I am. School is challenging for me, it always has been. My own creativity got me through it. I had to find alternative ways around everything because the path everyone else took either wasn’t an option, or in all honesty I just didn’t like it. The music and art created by other people soothes me on bad days, and I write my own when I need to get things out. Creativity is an invaluable tool.
Conviction. As it turns out, not everyone agrees that dreams and reality are the same thing. If you choose a reality that some people consider to be a dream, you may require some conviction. People will always go out of their way to give you their opinion if they feel you’re wrong. Some of these people are absolute dream crushers. They will take your inner child and if you allow it, they will regress back into the schoolyard bully they probably once were. Beware the dream crushers. Keep your inner child alive. It’s the one thing to make a plan, entertain a dream, but to follow it through to the end will require courage and conviction every day.
Wonder. Probably the most underrated tool. To have wonder is to have joy, beauty, hope, surprises, and fun. Every morning, look at the sky. Notice how blue it is. Look at yourself in the mirror. You’re a masterpiece. You may not think that now but if you start using wonder every day, and you realize how your skin is so soft yet it holds together this being that is capable of practically anything, you will. Start wondering. Look at things and people as if it was the very first time. Look at the world with just a little bit of wonder.
Those are the things I carry in my toolbox everyday. They give me sanity in a world constantly driving me insane. It took me years to learn how to use them, and to figure out they even existed in my head. I’m still learning and adding to my toolbox. Growing up is still hard, and I still don’t know what I’m doing all the time. I’ll never be perfect, but as long as I live my life with fantasy, creativity, conviction, and wonder… I’ll be alright.
