Every girl is different. But, as a group, we are usually labeled as being emotional. I get it. I really do. I cannot count the amount of times I have walked past a girl crying in the school bathroom, fighting back tears during a sappy movie, or hopping up and down screaming when they received an acceptance letter to college. I've seen it all, so I understand where the idea that all girls are emotional comes from. Yet, it is often overlooked that some girls are not really like that. It doesn't mean they are weird. It's not because they're angry, and they're not judging you. They just don't get really physically expressive over situations. That doesn't mean they don't feel sad or happy, they just handle it internally.
I've received scrutinizing comments when all of my friends are uncontrollably sobbing during movies such as "P.S. I Love You" while I watch wide-eyed and tear-free. I've been told I always sound bored during phone calls, and I have been the girl who has sat through a funeral with only numbness. I can't explain why I respond to these events without being externally emotional any more than someone who is emotional can. If you feel yourself about to cry, you can't control it. Similarly, if you feel your sadness on the inside with no external signs, you can't control it. I think unemotional girls get a misconceived reputation. People who aren't like us don't understand us. They can't figure out the reason for our lack of outward expression. So, they try to categorize us in order to make our behavior seem logical to them.
Theory number one: She is heartless. How can she not cry during these circumstances?
Theory number two: She is really tough. It takes more than this to get to her.
Theory number three: She is so hard to please. She didn't seem to like my gift/compliment.
Solution: Don't try to label externally unemotional girls. We aren't heartless. We feel all of the pain on the inside that other girls are expressing through their tears. We aren't really that tough, either. We're just good at masking our feelings or retrieving to a feeling of numbness instead of an outward display of emotion. Also, we are not any harder to please than any other girl. We are the same. The only thing that is different is the way we channel our emotions. So, learn to notice our distinctly different way of reacting.
We have feelings. We have a lot of them. We love strongly. We care deeply. We're not cold, mean, or non-expressive. We are the type of girls that require a little bit of work to be able to understand. We need people to dig beneath the surface in order to see how we feel, and we generally don't relinquish our emotions to others easily because we are used to being able to hide them on the outside.
Give us a chance, and don't be so quick to label us harshly.
We may not show it, but we feel it.
