The wild college student is on a hunt looking for his or her mate to pass the impending doom of the cold autumn and winter days and nights ahead in hibernation. The specimen must meet its evolutionary needs (Netflix and chill, Hulu and hang) to be able to survive the harsh weather (a result of climate change). With the campus climate running rampant with the smell of testosterone and desperation, it is evident to the college student that cuffing season is here and only the strong will survive. The process of natural selection will take place and only those who link up will live to see the holiday season with cheer, as Christmas and the loathsome Valentine’s Day will soon be here. The wild college student is thirsty, very thirsty and won’t stop until he or she has locked down a mate and devoured some prey in the process. If you see a wild college student traipsing around campus, the CDC recommends avoiding him or her at all costs, but if you’re the save the world type, all hope is not lost, you can help the college student by directing him or her to the nearest watering hole since it’s clear that their thirst is very real. See below for some acceptable hydration options:
