As the leaves start to turn and the warm summer air gives way to the crisp winter breeze, college students everywhere might find themselves more desperate than ever to settle down. Once our bronzed legs and sun kissed hair start to fade into a pale and lifeless despair, the desperation to be loved becomes ever so real. This is that time of year when promiscuity levels are at a low and loneliness at a high, resulting in desperate, horny, pale creatures prowling the bars and posting TBTs from over the summer. This, my friends, is what we call cuffing season.
1. Standards? What standards?
Remember in July when your idea of the perfect man was the smart but not too smart, funny but not too funny, handsome but not too handsome perfect guy? Well you can kiss those expectations goodbye, at least for now, because when you’re shivering in bed alone at night you don’t care how his relationship with his mom is.
2. Going out five days a week is OK.
Don’t let the slump of being single stop you from going out and getting your groove on. If anything, you’ll be feeling more desperate than ever to whip out those super high heels and squeeze into that little black romper you bought when you forgot that your legs would look like the Sahara desert in November. Welp, that’s why we have tinted moisturizer, isn’t it? Use this season as the best excuse ever to go out an absurd amount and put yourself out there. Really, we shouldn’t need an excuse to do this.
3. Don’t wait for BAE to find you.
OK. This is the biggest lie I was ever told, ever. When people say things like “Don’t rush love,” or “love will come to you…” These NEVER apply to cuffing season. I’m not trying to find love. I’m tying to find a BAE. If you don’t know the difference than you have never spent any real time on a college campus. You go out, you select your prey, you stalk you prey, and then you pounce. This either leads to an awkward “I have a girlfriend” scenario, or he could be totally impressed by your confidence and wife you up. OPTISM IS KEY.
4. You don’t need anyone.
It’s hard to read this and not see a huge implied double standard. But, not to get me wrong, boys are also full participants in cuffing season, but since I’m a girl I tend to understand that side of it a bit better. At the end of the day though, as real as cuffing season can feel, all of us should feel OK going to bed alone with ourselves at night, knowing that we are the best damn versions of ourselves that we can be and we don’t need anyone to confirm this.
I hope you are all a little more educated on what cuffing season is all about. Maybe you’ve never heard the term, but I’m sure you probably realized it’s what you’ve been experiencing for the last five winters. We can all band together and give each other strength, because there is light at the end of the tunnel people! And even though it’s not for another six months, the leaves will begin to blossom, the warm breeze will return, and our self esteem will surely heal. All in due time.
