I've never been one who particularly understood how to get good grades on anything. Even when I try my hardest and pour my heart into something it still feels like I failed. If you struggle with school work like I do then you will understand all of the following experiences.
Since starting high school I found out that tests are not my strong suit. For some reason whenever a test is put in front of me I freeze up and instantly forget everything I studied the days before. Especially if the test is a bubble sheet test, if you skip one bubble on accident the rest of the questions are going to be wrong. I never did understand why those are still being used.
One of the most frustrating things about trying to get good grades is watching everyone around you get good grades and then you get your grade back, all excited to see how well you did, and then you see that you failed another test. It's a feeling that makes your heart sink. Whats worse is everyone's reaction to seeing you did bad. Such as "Oh it's ok, you'll get it next time." as they give you a pity hug and walk away with their A+ on the test they never even studied for while you stayed up for three days straight and yet you still didn't do well.
They say life isn't fair and that is very true. Even if you have the qualities of a great leader or you are perfect for a job that you really wanted, grades will always hold you back. No matter how hard I try to improve myself it always ends with "You were the best applicant but we see you don't have dean's list grades...". This is usually where I stop listening, because I've heard this same speech so many times. Yes, I have everything I would need to be a manager but I don't know how to memorize things fast enough for a class that isn't necessary for my future. This is what dictates my life.
To all those people out there who try and try and fail and fail I understand you. Personally all of my friends are in honors societies and have always had classes come easy to them. Then there's me, the one who struggles just to get by. Usually around midterms I see that my GPA is really low (happens every year since grade school) and then I fight the next half to force my grades up. I stay after class, I live in professors offices (sorry), and I do a whole other class worth of extra credit that takes over my life. By the time finals roll around I am already so exhausted that I just stay awake and study for days until I feel ready for the tests. But, as always, when I get the test I blank out and panic. At the end of it all I always manage to keep my grades up just high enough to stay out of trouble. To me that's the A+ because I know that there was nothing more I could have done and I can be proud of all the hard work I put into the class. Would I like to post on Facebook to my friends and family to tell them that I made deans list? Yes, I would. But I know that's not in the cards for me and I'm okay with that.
In the end what's important is that you never stop trying. Even when those around you do better than you and you worked harder, don't let that discourage you. Just because you aren't the best at school work doesn't mean you can do any less in life. Even though my grades are mediocre at best I have managed to never let that deter me. I am a member of two honorary societies (I got in by doing extra work because I didn't have the GPA), I have had seven different on campus jobs entrusted to me, I am a member of Zeta Tau Alpha Fraternity and on the Exec board. Zeta has never looked down on me for being me and they always give me the chance to show my true self without just looking at grades and assuming I can't do something and that is so refreshing. I also know that eventually grades won't matter, what will matter is who you are and how you conduct yourself, not just if you can memorize something and write it down later. Your true self will shine through this, I promise. Never give up and always keep trying.
