I am a believer in life and all things positive. I often forget how precious life is and how often we take it for granted. There are some days where reflecting on the serenity of life is a blessing. I crave life. I crave the deep breaths of fresh air I take on a nice day, I crave the feeling of extreme happiness overflowing from my chest and radiating from the smile on my mouth. I crave the feeling of family hugging on me and the comfort I feel between us. I love life, I crave, and I want to live it as long as I can. Sometimes I wish I could copy and paste my own passions of this world and give it to someone who is hopeless and unsure of their purpose. I want to radiate that energy to others so they can see through the lens that I do. Recently in class, I was asked by a peer, "Why do you always make everything into a positive." A little offended, I replied, "Why is that such a bad thing?"
When I find myself feeling down and about, I remind myself that today is a gift that some people don't get the opportunity to live anymore. I think the biggest moment that changed my perspective on life is through the loss of my cousin, Nathan Irvin. My family lost him to suicide in 2012 and the lasting effect it put on my family changed my perspective on living life and how I choose to encourage others with the power of positivity. Nathan did not mean to teach me to love life, and of course I wish the lesson could have been taught in other ways, but because of Nathan, I choose to live every day as if it is my last, and try with the best of my ability to leave everyone else as if I would never hear from them again. Years ago I read a quote that has stuck with me, and remains as one of my favorites to this day:
“I want a life that sizzles and pops and makes me laugh out loud. And I don't want to get to the end, or to tomorrow, even, and realize that my life is a collection of meetings and pop cans and errands and receipts and dirty dishes. I want to eat cold tangerines and sing out loud in the car with the windows open and wear pink shoes and stay up all night laughing and paint my walls the exact color of the sky right now. I want to sleep hard on clean white sheets and throw parties and eat ripe tomatoes and read books so good they make me jump up and down, and I want my everyday to make God belly laugh, glad that he gave life to someone who loves the gift.” Shauna Niequist
I crave life, and I wish everyone else did too. Life is beautiful, life is tragic and you can't have the good without roughing through the bad. Life was never promised to be easy and God does not love you any less because He allows bad things to happen. Trials are meant to teach you and meant to build your faith and experience and before you say "Olivia, really because what I am going through sucks." Trust me, my life has been messy and fragile but I firmly believe every valley is followed by a mountain that you have to climb up before you feel like you are on top of the world.
Suicide is not to be taken lightly. If you are having trouble or are scared to talk to someone you know personally, National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (Call 1-800-273-8255) is available 24 hours everyday. Find peace, crave life.
