As a kid, I have made many different types of choices that have altered my life in a way. The choices that I made could've sent me on a different type of path that I am now, and it haunts me that i made some bad decisions that I wish I never made.

I wish I could turn back time and tell my younger self so much that I have learned from my past mistakes.

I was one of the lonely kids growing up. I hardly socialized and I preferred to stay quiet in class rather than speak up. In middle school, I developed an eating disorder early on that has affected my physical health. High school was when I found out about myself and had a hard time accepting who I really was.

I would tell my younger self so much that I have learned. I would tell her that it’s okay to speak up in class, if you get judged, who cares? If someone makes fun of you because of your opinions on a certain subject, it’s their problem, not ours.

It’s also okay to be quiet too. It benefits us a lot. You become a good listener and that is a great quality that you will understand as you get older. And it’s okay to ask for help in class too, you’re not dumb, but it’s hard for you to understand this material and you need someone to explain it to you.

It’s also okay if you’re not very social, at least be friendly. That is an important quality to have. If you are polite to people, it goes a long way. People respect you more than bullies who tear people down because they are insecure.

And those immature boys who are bullying you in the recess line? Ignore them. They want to get you mad, it gives them ammunition to tease and poke and prod you more. And once you realize that, they just leave you alone.

I remember when we played some recreational sports for the county. Remember when those girls kept blocking you in basketball and you couldn't shoot because we were so short? That was one of the reasons we stopped playing basketball. After playing those sports for a while, we stopped for good. But imagine what our life could be like now if we continued to play soccer or lacrosse. I would've maybe gotten into college on a sports scholarship, if I played on the high school team. I could've gone somewhere different for college.

When we entered middle school, it was a new change for us. We went in, to try to give a good impression, with a broken wrist from being bucked off of that horse. I guess that wasn't the best first impression we made. But later in middle school, when we were feeling down and upset a lot, we started to eat a lot. We loved food. We loved it so much, we snuck it up to our room and ate it. But we should've never done that, the consequences that we faced years on in the future were not the best. If we could've controlled ourselves, I wouldn't be trying to lose fifty pounds to feel better about myself. And know that your looks aren't everything. You can’t really change how we really look, there’s not much to do there.

And looks aren't all that important. People should like you for who you are, don't try and change for anyone. Not a crush, not even a person. I want to change how I look, but I'm not changing for someone, I’m changing for us. I developed a high cholesterol from all of the dairy foods that I have consumed over the last seven to nine years, and I believe I am now becoming lactose intolerant. Which is kind of ironic if you think about it.

Overall, younger me, there was so much we could've done that would've changed the way we turned out. We’re okay, we’re doing good. We’re almost finished with our first year at college, it’s just one week away. We can do it. Just know that I am always thinking about our time together and how I wish I was you again. Young, free and you don’t have to worry about final exams next week since we got two papers due. Take care of yourself, little me.