Every day became the same routine. The visits became part of my life: the pale white walls, the antiseptic smell, and the washed out scrubs on the nurses. This place became a second home and I began to recognize faces and people as I walked down the halls day after day. I was only eight years old when I lost my mother.
Ever since the day I lost her, I wish I could just see her one more day, or at least one more time. I would give anything to see her beautiful face and feel her loving touch. It has been 13 years too long since I lost her. Now at 21 years old, beginning my senior year in college, I can still feel the last time I saw you just weeks before my eighth birthday, only in third grade. That was the longest nine months of my life. First came the pneumonia. My sister Winter was only a couple months old and I had to help care for her at my young age of 7. You wanted to be there but the sickness was gaining a tighter hold. You never ceased to stop fighting, but soon the battle became too much. She started as a beautiful, strong, and courageous woman and when she left this world she became fragile and broken, but her courage and strength never faded. She held on as long as she could. She stayed strong for my sister and I. Most importantly she made sure we were taken care of before letting go.
My dearest angel in heaven, if I could see you again, I would visit in a heartbeat. I would share all the ups and downs and tell you how you continue to be the biggest inspiration in my life. To be able to share one more hug would be incredible and to hear your voice would be more than I could ever ask for. These are all the things I would love to experience just one more time with you. I miss you more and more every day and to this day I never understood why God took you home so early. Why did you have to leave behind two beautiful daughters? As I have grown older, I understand how much it has shaped me to be the women I am today and slowly I have began to accept it. You truly are the inspiration in my life which is driving my pursuit of a career in healthcare someday. I have learned that things in life truly do happen for a reason. My life would have been completely different if things had not gone the way they did. I would not be so passionate about the career choice I have chosen and would not have met the people that I am now closest too. From your suffering, I have learned to take away the negatives in my life and make them positive. Because of you mom, I am the women I am today! I can’t thank you enough for shaping my life. I love and miss you so much mother and I truly wish I could just see you one more time.
