We want to believe in life that there can be guarantees, an engagement ring is permanent, an I love you is forever, and a diploma is a guarantee for an automatic job, and so on.
But unfortunately, life doesn't work that way.
You can be with someone for twenty years or two years, and even time doesn't give you that guarantee.
Promises from those we love are just words, we can only hope they'll keep them.
Posts on Instagram don't make it true.
Even the News isn't giving the full story.
The truth is we just don't know. We don't ever seem to get full control.
We can make our plans, create our lists, and have our dreams but circumstances may alter everything.
It amazes me how quickly a heart can break, or how bad news an spread faster than a burning fire.
It takes only a moment.
It's just you, holding one basket of hopes and dreams, another of plans and goals. Love in your eyes, and happiness on your smile. And then just like that the baskets drop to the floor, the love turns to tears, and the smile disintegrates.
One moment you have all the wedding presents, the invitations sent out, the dress hung, and the next you're sending everything back.
There's no good explanation for why this happens.
Why it doesn't happen to all and just some.
Why there seems to be no real guarantee.
Why you can never get that job, or achieve that goal, and why bad news is your closest friend.
It hurts the first time, but once you hit five or six, you begin breaking.
Questioning yourself, questioning everything you knew, and seemed to think.
No side hug is enough, no get well card suffices.
What hurts the most is when those plans have already commenced,
you had the invitations, you met the family, you got that interview, you sold this, or you bought that.
And then it's over.
I can't explain that feeling.
It's incredibly unfair, and horrific.
Because it isn't just a "better luck next time," or a simple loss, it's a tragedy.
Sometimes I think the human race doesn't even know how to handle a tragedy.
It's so overwhelming.
The books don't provide answers, drinks are temporary, friends and family can only do so much, and the songs you play come to an end. Nothing heals, but rather helps you cope for a matter of seconds, or minutes, only to leave you with that stomach dropping, heart aching feeling, and the memories flood back into your mind, reminding you.
I don't wish this kind of pain on anyone.
Just as I'd never wish the loss of a child, or a loved one on anyone.
It just doesn't make sense why we must endure these types of pains, because not all of us make it out.
While some of us grow from them and learn from them, what about the rest of us who sink?
What about the ones who can't swim?
I'll never understand tragedy or pain.
I'll never fully understand an abrupt ending or horrific turn.
I'll never get why one day I'm told I'm the one, and the next my heart is shattered across the floor.
