After One Year, It Still Isn't Easy Coping With The Loss Of My Dad
Start writing a post
Relationships

After One Year, It Still Isn't Easy Coping With The Loss Of My Dad

Losing a parent is losing a piece of yourself.

1355
After One Year, It Still Isn't Easy Coping With The Loss Of My Dad
Anthony Varlese

April 21, 2017 is when everything changed. For me, it was a day that I had hoped wouldn’t happen for many more years. It was the day I lost the greatest man I ever knew. My father died from stage four liver cancer that came on very quickly in a matter of seven months. Since then, it has been an internal struggle to go through life without him.

I have some good days when I don’t think about it. But when I do, everything comes to a grinding halt because I remember he is not around anymore for me to share what is going on in my life. I understand dying is a natural part of life; I made peace with that reality some time ago. Over the years, you start losing family members like aunts and uncles and grandparents. When you lose a parent, no matter how old you are, there is no way to make peace with that.

I guess this is the part where I describe what kind of man my dad was. He was a gentleman through and through. Every person he met, he always greeted with a handshake and always had something nice to say. He was very smart, having been retired as a water engineer, an Air Force pilot, and a hospital emergency room technician, among other jobs. Most of all, he was a family man. He treated my mother like royalty up until the day he died and taught my brother and me so much. To simply say “thank you” would come nowhere close to justice.

It is because of this man that I have a voice. My dad was also an active member of the community, having served on different committees and volunteered his time to the local public services to whom gave lectures and speeches. How I got to be so involved in school academically and extracurricularly, and eager to help others is all due to his raising me to be as selfless and moral as he was. I really would not be who I am in front of this computer if it was not for him.

With the anniversary of his death today, I am reminded of everything he will not get to see me do: get into graduate school, my first adult job, marriage, his grandchildren. The one thing he wanted to see before he died was me graduating from college next month and he will never get to do that.

People tell me “he’s there in spirit” and “he is watching all the time.” Just for that moment, it puts me at ease, but not for long. The fact that he is not here physically seeing his son grow into a man just like him does not come anywhere close to the comfort those words try to do for me. I am lucky to have had a father who was always around from my first days of school to take me to toy stores as a kid to giving me advice as I began adulthood. Now that he is gone, coming home to talk about my day is not the same. I am 22 years old, and I still need my dad.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

40277
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

24872
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less
Adulting

Unlocking Lake People's Secrets: 15 Must-Knows!

There's no other place you'd rather be in the summer.

950607
Group of joyful friends sitting in a boat
Haley Harvey

The people that spend their summers at the lake are a unique group of people.

Whether you grew up going to the lake, have only recently started going, or have only been once or twice, you know it takes a certain kind of person to be a lake person. To the long-time lake people, the lake holds a special place in your heart, no matter how dirty the water may look.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Top 10 Reasons My School Rocks!

Why I Chose a Small School Over a Big University.

131478
man in black long sleeve shirt and black pants walking on white concrete pathway

I was asked so many times why I wanted to go to a small school when a big university is so much better. Don't get me wrong, I'm sure a big university is great but I absolutely love going to a small school. I know that I miss out on big sporting events and having people actually know where it is. I can't even count how many times I've been asked where it is and I know they won't know so I just say "somewhere in the middle of Wisconsin." But, I get to know most people at my school and I know my professors very well. Not to mention, being able to walk to the other side of campus in 5 minutes at a casual walking pace. I am so happy I made the decision to go to school where I did. I love my school and these are just a few reasons why.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments