Confronting The Bully

Confronting The Bully

"When they go low, we go high" -Michelle Obama

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A bully is someone who points out the wrong in others to make themselves feel better, and that is what I feel you are.

And an insecure person like the rest of us, not willing to admit it, and only willing to look at the bad in all of the rest of us.

I bite my tongue, I put my head down, look the other way, but you know how to push buttons.

A bully knows how to strike a nerve know one knew they had, like a sniper who makes the perfect shot out of nowhere.

That's what you do to me.

I'm done being your punching bag or rag doll,

I'm done being your gossip of the week, or the "friend," to make you feel better about yourself.

That's now how friendship works.

We don't put others down to make ourselves feel better, and we don't silently judge, we practice honesty, and confront others, rather than allow pent up anger and jealousy spew out through hurtful words and comments.

I'm done being the friend people can use to make themselves feel smarter, prettier, or more accomplished than.

I'm done being the person anyone can belittle, or judge.

Not by changing your opinion, because that can never happen.

But rather by cutting things out.

Like any good gardener, you must cut out the weeds to allow other things to grow.

One of the hardest things I've had to learn as an adult is that not everyone will like you, and that's okay. And we won't be friends with everyone, friendships can happen in seasons.

I'm sorry that I made you feel this level of insecurity, that you felt that you could use me, and wish you could be honest with yourself instead, confronting the real issue.

I'm done with the competitions, I'm done with the comparisons.

You can have it, whatever makes it easier for you.

And you can use the private details I've shared with you, the dark parts of my heart that you're aware of, and use it against me if that makes you feel better.

I'm negative, but that doesn't mean I can't be positive.

I'm short tempered at times, judgmental, lazy, crazy, silly, and wrong, but that doesn't define who I am.

Because I would like to live a life that's honest. I wish you could see that.

And recognize we all have darkness, weak spots, and imperfections.

I wish you didn't bottle up all your emotions, I wish you didn't put on your masks, and let your hair down.

You don't have to be perfect, and image or a reputation is not everything.

You don't have to convince or prove anything to anyone.

I'm okay with knowing I have struggles you don't have, that you are in fact stronger in some areas that I am not.

Because we're different.

But sometimes opposites don't attract, and different is too different.

I'm done with being the person you can walk all over, to make your pain seem less painful.

This is not a friendship.

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An Open Letter To My Unexpected Best Friend

You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better.
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“It's so amazing when someone comes to your life and you expect nothing out of it, but suddenly, there right in front of you is everything you ever need."

-Unknown

Dear Unexpected Best Friend,

You were the person I never thought I would speak to and now you are my very best friend. You came out of nowhere and changed my life for the better. I can't thank you enough for everything you have done to shape me into the person I am today. You've taught me what it means to be selfless, caring, patient, and, more importantly, adventurous.

You don't realize how much better my life has become and all because you came out of nowhere. I didn't see you coming. I just saw you on occasion, and now I can't see my life without you in it. It's funny how life works itself out like that. Our unexpected friendship filled a hole in my life that I didn't know existed.

I don't even remember what life was like before you came along; it most likely had a lot less laughter and spontaneity than it does today. I can call you about anything and you would drop whatever you're doing to help me in any situation. You know when I need encouragement. You know when I am at my best and when I am at my worst. You always know exactly what to say.

SEE ALSO: 8 Tiny Lies Every Young Woman Has Told Their Best Friend

I couldn't have found a better friend than you if I tried. We balance each other out in the best way possible. You are most definitely the yin to my yang, and I don't care how cliché that sounds. Because of you, I've learned to stop caring what people think and to do my own thing regardless of any backlash I might receive. You are my very favorite part of what makes me who I am to this day.

It's as if I wished up a best friend, and poof — you appeared right in front of me. I am so beyond blessed to have you and I wouldn't trade the world for all our memories. Thanks for coming out of nowhere.

Love you forever and a day.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Medders

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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