Confronting The Bully

Confronting The Bully

"When they go low, we go high" -Michelle Obama

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A bully is someone who points out the wrong in others to make themselves feel better, and that is what I feel you are.

And an insecure person like the rest of us, not willing to admit it, and only willing to look at the bad in all of the rest of us.

I bite my tongue, I put my head down, look the other way, but you know how to push buttons.

A bully knows how to strike a nerve know one knew they had, like a sniper who makes the perfect shot out of nowhere.

That's what you do to me.

I'm done being your punching bag or rag doll,

I'm done being your gossip of the week, or the "friend," to make you feel better about yourself.

That's now how friendship works.

We don't put others down to make ourselves feel better, and we don't silently judge, we practice honesty, and confront others, rather than allow pent up anger and jealousy spew out through hurtful words and comments.

I'm done being the friend people can use to make themselves feel smarter, prettier, or more accomplished than.

I'm done being the person anyone can belittle, or judge.

Not by changing your opinion, because that can never happen.

But rather by cutting things out.

Like any good gardener, you must cut out the weeds to allow other things to grow.

One of the hardest things I've had to learn as an adult is that not everyone will like you, and that's okay. And we won't be friends with everyone, friendships can happen in seasons.

I'm sorry that I made you feel this level of insecurity, that you felt that you could use me, and wish you could be honest with yourself instead, confronting the real issue.

I'm done with the competitions, I'm done with the comparisons.

You can have it, whatever makes it easier for you.

And you can use the private details I've shared with you, the dark parts of my heart that you're aware of, and use it against me if that makes you feel better.

I'm negative, but that doesn't mean I can't be positive.

I'm short tempered at times, judgmental, lazy, crazy, silly, and wrong, but that doesn't define who I am.

Because I would like to live a life that's honest. I wish you could see that.

And recognize we all have darkness, weak spots, and imperfections.

I wish you didn't bottle up all your emotions, I wish you didn't put on your masks, and let your hair down.

You don't have to be perfect, and image or a reputation is not everything.

You don't have to convince or prove anything to anyone.

I'm okay with knowing I have struggles you don't have, that you are in fact stronger in some areas that I am not.

Because we're different.

But sometimes opposites don't attract, and different is too different.

I'm done with being the person you can walk all over, to make your pain seem less painful.

This is not a friendship.

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5 Perks Of Having A Long-Distance Best Friend

The best kind of long-distance relationship.
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Sometimes, people get annoyed when girls refer to multiple people as their "best friend," but they don't understand. We have different types of best friends. There's the going out together best friend, the see each other everyday best friend and the constant, low maintenance best friend.

While I'm lucky enough to have two out of the three at the same school as me, my "low maintenance" best friend goes to college six hours from Baton Rouge.

This type of friend is special because no matter how long you go without talking or seeing each other, you're always insanely close. Even though I miss her daily, having a long-distance best friend has its perks. Here are just a few of them...

1. Getting to see each other is a special event.

Sometimes when you see someone all the time, you take that person and their friendship for granted. When you don't get to see one of your favorite people very often, the times when you're together are truly appreciated.

2. You always have someone to give unbiased advice.

This person knows you best, but they probably don't know the people you're telling them about, so they can give you better advice than anyone else.

3. You always have someone to text and FaceTime.

While there may be hundreds of miles between you, they're also just a phone call away. You know they'll always be there for you even when they can't physically be there.

4. You can plan fun trips to visit each other.

When you can visit each other, you get to meet the people you've heard so much about and experience all the places they love. You get to have your own college experience and, sometimes, theirs, too.

5. You know they will always be a part of your life.

If you can survive going to school in different states, you've both proven that your friendship will last forever. You both care enough to make time for the other in the midst of exams, social events, and homework.

The long-distance best friend is a forever friend. While I wish I could see mine more, I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Cover Image Credit: Just For Laughs-Chicago

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To The Friends I Can Be Myself Around

An open letter to those whose friendships I value more than a pint of Graeter's ice cream.

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There are those friends I love and care about deeply, but cannot be my true self around. Someone asked me before, "How can you call someone your friend if you can't be yourself around them?" I don't change myself to accommodate them or act in a manner unnatural to me — I just don't show them some sides of me. Growing up, some of my friends did not understand how I could ever want to write books or how I could love reading so much, so I learned at a young age to keep that side of me to myself. And yes, those are important parts of me, but my friends who did not understand it did accept it, and that was enough. Some thought it bizarre and humorous I love Celtic instrumental music or said some hurtful things about what I love that I realize now wasn't okay. But at the end of the day, there is love between us and common ground where I just remember to not mention some things.

Then there are those friends I can be my complete, unapologetic, authentic self with. The ones who support and encourage you to chase your dreams, even if they don't understand them. The ones who you can cry to about something silly, say whatever is on your mind without regretting it, and who thinks it's preposterous you refuse to fart in their presence because your other friends would give you crap for it (pun intended, and also true story). The ones you stay up late into the night talking about philosophy and crushes until your voices begin to rasp. The ones who are the closest to your heart.

I want to say thank you to these brilliant, caring, beautiful friends, new and old. Your love and support has helped me at all times, through the good and the bad and the boring. I only hope to be the same friend to you, to be open-minded, supportive, and enthusiastic. I believe it is important to cultivate a wide range of friends and support, but many of the friendships I mention earlier will most likely only be kept alive through memories; ours will last many lives to come. I look forward to growing old with you all and growing together.

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