In elementary through high school, we are taught how to detect bullying and stop it from happening. We are instructed on how to stand up to bullies—as bullied children and bystanders. However, the guidelines for how to deal with bullying become blurry as adulthood comes into the picture. Your adult bully could be a fellow college student, a coworker, a family member, or even an authority figure.

How will I stand up to a bully who is much older than me without seeming 'disrespectful'? How can I confront a bully when we are both adults, and bullying is supposed to magically end in high school?

Adult bullying, just like in high school, can take numerous forms. In its verbal form, it is sometimes hard to pinpoint—a condescending tone, backhanded compliments, subtle jabs, or full-on insults, perhaps yelling. However, once the bullying turns physical, it is no longer bullying; it's abuse.

It can be difficult, even scary, to manage these problems without feeling inadequate or intimidated. Here are some tips on how to confront your adult bully in a safe, respectful way.

1. Express your discomfort with the situation.

This is the most assertive way to confront an adult bully. "It makes me feel uncomfortable when you ____." This simple sentence can be a great lead into a calm conversation about why a situation or behavior makes you feel uneasy, upset, or even frightened. This may motivate the person to stop their harmful behavior without you really having to say the words. Be as direct as possible, and really focus on how the bully's actions or words are harmful to you.

2. Use the buddy system.

Try not to let your bully catch you alone. Tell a trusted classmate, coworker, friend, or family member about your situation. Ask them to please stick around when they notice your bully is near you to avoid being alone with them. With more people around, it will be more difficult for your bully to target you.

Sometimes, it is even helpful to ask a someone to talk to your bully for you, depending on the situation. If you feel uncomfortable about confronting the bully yourself, you could try asking a trusted person to speak to them for you.

3. Ignore it.

If possible, try to ignore your bully. By not responding to your bully, you discouraging their harmful behavior and making it more difficult for them to bully you. Often, bullies are hoping to get a reaction from you, and when you no longer respond to their behavior, they may stop. However, it is possible that they may continue or even worsen their behavior. If this happens, try another method.

4. Laugh it off.

If a bully is challenging your beliefs or insulting you, laughing off the encounter could help the bully to run out of steam and stop. If they don't think you're affected by their bullying, they might get bored with you and hopefully decide to stop.

5. Ask for help.

If none of the previous steps work for you, you can always reach out and ask for help. Even if your bully is someone with more authority than you, there are still many helpful resources you can utilize. A counselor could provide some advice about what your next step could be. If the bullying ever becomes physical, you should contact your local police station. If it is within your home, you can contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline.

Remember that bullying of any form is not your fault, and you should never blame yourself. Never be too afraid to ask for help, whether it be the authorities or a trusted person in your life. No one should ever have to go through being bullied alone.