Throughout my entire life, I have been fortunate enough to feel comfortable in my own skin -- emphasis on comfortable. Even though I am average weight and fortunate to be healthy, I am only comfortable with my body -- not happy. Billboards, commercials, models and the way clothing hangs on them, the definition of plus sized, the Kardashians -- the list goes on about standards we cannot meet. The question arises, why do we try and meet all of these ridiculous and unhealthy standards? Is it to please a man? Is it because we want to look like the Kardashians? Is it because we aspire to walk the runway? Whatever the reason that we want to change what we look like, why can't we find a reason -- any reason -- to love the bodies we were given. Being a woman is an amazing thing. We create life, we are emotionally strong creatures with a hormone that doubles as a painkiller. We give birth and breast-feed our children. We have the strength to pick up a car when our child or someone we love is endangered, and yet we worry about what people will think about our bodies. Why do we focus on our bodies more than on our minds? What else do we have to offer besides curves?
We feel this way because of standards we expect ourselves to meet. When a woman walks into a bar, most of the time the first thing she sees is another woman or a group of women judging her. Ever been in a group with one friend that says, "Ew, why is she wearing that?" or even found yourself saying, "Her boobs are too big to wear a shirt like that"? Personally, I have found that most of the time I feel most judged by other women, not a man cat calling me or saying something to me; that's honestly more annoying than hurtful. When another person from my own gender is judging me and tearing me down instead of lifting me up, that is what hurts me the most.
Yes, I totally agree men should treat us with respect, not yell obscenities at us for the sake of their own pleasures, and they should keep their hands where they belong. We are still completely objects of their sexual pleasure, and that needs to end. I believe, instead of bashing them and making them the total issue, though, we can lead by example and treat each other how we want to be treated. Feeling comfortable in your own skin is hard, especially with all these options for different plastic surgeries, beauty magazines, the Kardashians and the way everyone makes each other feel in this whirlwind of "looks matter." Feeling confident is hard, and some days you feel good and some days you don't. The message of beauty has always been so physical, when really it should be mental. The person you are and the mind you have are what define you, not your body. Having a healthy body is important, but having a healthy mind is even more important.
