I always pictured myself having that day where I would have the wedding of my dreams. The beautiful dress, a guest list of our closest friends and family members and of course the dreamy groom who was my high school sweetheart. Of course, unfortunately, these dreams changed due to a brutal and harsh awakening to reality.

One thing I can tell you right now is that I'm fine. Please, do not ask me if I am okay. I get it, this is rough, trust me, I know, especially since I am the one experiencing this. I will tell you this, though, things may seem heartbreaking, but this experience has taught me a lot about myself. I have found peace, and have obtained the ability to be able to take care of me and to put me first.

I know as a couple, you vow to take care of one another, but you shouldn’t have to walk someone you love off a metaphorical ledge every time he is tempted to do something impulsive. I grew tired, I was run ragged. I was unhappy and in denial for the last two years we were together.

Though some may see this as a sign of cold feet, or being a said “runaway bride,” the reason why I walked away was because the relationship was not healthy. It’s interesting when you walk away from everything, even when it is 80 days before you say “I do,” you begin to see everything that was wrong with what you thought was the best thing you ever had.

Secondly, do not ask why the wedding was canceled. I cannot count how many phone calls, texts and Facebook messages I received when the initial cancellation took place. Honestly, as an introvert and someone with high-level anxiety, this was the thing that made it most difficult. This was a time for not only myself but of course the former soon-to-be groom and our family members as well to take the time and space to get things rearranged and figured out, you know, for refunds and things like that.

Lastly, do not ask me if I really want to get married. I swear, the next person that does this will face my wrath. Not only is this extremely disrespectful and nosy, but the reason behind why I called off my nuptials has absolutely nothing to do with me wanting, or not wanting, to get married. There were many reasons why I decided not to marry the man I was engaged to, and I know if I would have gone through with it, I wouldn’t have been happy.

I know this may seem at some points harsh, but as a “runaway bride” myself, I felt this message should be shared. Not only am I speaking on behalf of myself, but of those who have went through the same situation as I have. One thing to please always remember, no matter what, always put yourself first.