I never believed the saying, “High school is the best four years of your life,” maybe because my high school experience wasn’t a TV show. I didn’t make out with my boyfriend in the hallway, I didn’t watch people get tossed into dumpsters or thrown into lockers, I wasn’t bullied by the head cheerleader, I never dated the quarterback of the football team and I never got to be a prom queen to a prom king. I didn’t experience these things because I went to an all-girl, Catholic, private high school. So, what I experienced was so much more.
1. Theology is the hardest course you'll ever take, but never use.
So many saints, so many religions, I can't even remember how many sins I've committed.
2. Your leg hair will blow in the wind.
Long socks, longer skirts, what's the point of shaving again?
3. Jesus will be at homecoming.
Yeah you better believe the giant Jesus statue in the gymnasium window is going to be looking down at you grinding with your date.
4. Teachers will walk around with whistles at any school dance.
To make sure you're leaving room for the Holy Spirit.
5. We aren't all lesbians.
Yes, we talk to guys, and we have impeccable taste in men, as well. Khakis and blue blazers are the way to our hearts.
6. The ugliest male teacher will be the hottest man you see five days a week between the hours of 8 a.m. and 3 p.m.
You probably have history together because that's what he teaches.
7. Mixers.
When girls and guys from all of the single sex schools come together to be awkward.
8. Church songs.
You probably actually like breaking it down to "You Are Holy."
9. Praying before every class.
Dear God,
Thank you for the coffee to get me through the day, thanks for letting me have a clean quilt and polo this morning, and please let the power of the pencil help me ace this test.
Amen.
Teacher: Any petitions to offer before the class?
Student: Please let God bless me with a boyfriend.
10. Church before prom.
Because they know you'll miss it Sunday morning.
11. Pride for school always.
Years later, you'll still be wearing your power colors and school spirit wear, and you'll always be proud to say "Hey, I went there."
12. Men's deodorant.
Sometimes you just miss the smell of man. And you sport so hard, you need the extra protection.
13. No public school friends.
Private school kids are a different breed. We stick to our own kind.
14. When a boy walks in, the whole school knows.
You're on the third floor in the middle of testing soil samples in environmental studies, but your ears perk up because you can sense the presence of a boy walking in the main doors on the first floor.
15. Fun nicknames.
Mostly inappropriate, but we have no shame.
16. Rivals.
There's the school that's good for athletics and the school that's good for academics. It doesn't matter which one you go to, you take rivalry in any sense of the word very seriously.
17. Sitting "Indian style" in your desk.
"Feet on the floor" rules don't apply when your quilt falls below your knees.
18. Kairos.
Doubt the first
Cry the second
Love the third
Live the fourth
19. Pranks.
If you didn't leave class every day at a specific time to meet your friends to play a daily prank, did you even go to an all-girl school?
20. All Catholic school girls do not go on to be nuns.
During the week, our quilts might be long, but on the weekend, our skirts are short.
