“I’ll just wake up early and do it,” I sigh as I slam my laptop shut and crawl into bed. This paper’s due tomorrow and I’ve barely started but I work better under pressure. I always get it done, don’t I? Internal reassurance makes it easier to close my eyes to sleep.

My alarm sings that it’s 6 a.m. and I tell it to shut up. I’m groggy, but not enough to have forgotten about the paper that’s due at 11 a.m. I allow myself to hit snooze, but really I have already accepted my fate so I start planning out my paper in my head. My internal alarm jolts me up before the snoozed one does, so I hop out of bed and reacquaint myself with my laptop. Words make their way from my brain to the word document and they really do seem to come easier than they did the night before.

This is me on a good day, allotting myself five hours to bang out an entire six-page paper. Sometimes it's less: I've done it in two. The short period of time literally right before the deadline seems to be the only way I am motivated to start most papers, things others might start a week in advance.

It does make me anxious that I leave it to the last minute. Non-procrastinators can't seem to wrap their heads around this, but I like that feeling of anxiousness. It's my fuel.

Psychologists have a pretty negative outlook on procrastination. This article on Psychology Today reads, "Procrastinators tell lies to themselves. Such as, 'I'll feel more like doing this tomorrow.' Or 'I work best under pressure.' But in fact, they do not get the urge the next day or work best under pressure."

Hmmmm. This is possible: I could be lying to myself.

But what if I'm not? What if I really do work best under pressure? Because it certainly feels like I do.

This is how it usually goes for me when I try to start something at a 'normal' time, without procrastinating:

It just doesn't work. Whatever I produce does not usually seem to me any better than what I do when I procrastinate, so I guess my resulting mindset is, "why bother?"

I know inevitably there must exist a cure for procrastination. Something really simple like: just make yourself do your damn work. The cure's out there, and I am determined to find it.

But maybe I'll start tomorrow.