It’s the wee hours of the morning as I write this. I’m sitting at my kitchen table, surrounded by papers and pens and pencils and forms and cords and electronic paraphernalia and the remnants of what might be my fourth cup of coffee (fifth? I’m not sure) since this incredibly long day started. It’s the bitter end of my last semester of my [first] senior year, the comforting strains of a Sara Groves album from seventh grade are swirling through the air, and I’ve just crawled out from under the mountain of coursework that’s been crushing me for the past couple days and crushing my spirit for longer. The amount of work I have done in the last two days is mind-boggling, to say the least.

But you know what stinks?

I don’t get the bragging rights to any of it.

You see, nearly all of the work that I did was work that was due earlier in the semester. What wasn’t due earlier was assigned earlier. So while I did enough work in one weekend to probably fill up an entire college course, all I feel is shame.

This is how procrastination goes.

You ignore and you rationalize and you make excuses until you can’t anymore, and then the urgency sets in. The sense of motivation that a procrastinator feels under a looming deadline is glorious. It’s a high that is positively addicting. Where previously you couldn’t scrape up enough motivation if you tried, now you have so much motivation that it feels like you have some sort of superhuman capability.

Sure, you might be crying and miserable and swearing never to put things off again, but your thoughts are laser-focused and your fingers are flying across the keys. And when you try to start something early, that crazy focus and drive is nowhere to be found.

Here’s the thing, though. It’s far better to slog through the work ahead of time, because when you are finished you can actually be proud. When you’ve put things off, you can’t bemoan your workload or boast about your accomplishments; it is all overshadowed by the fact that you did this to yourself. Are you a hard worker? Doesn’t matter if you only work hard at the last minute. Are you a generally polite and caring person? Doesn’t matter if you have no respect for the time of others.

This is what procrastination does. It devalues you and the worth of your accomplishments. It taints every feeling of pride with shame. It puts a damper on personal relationships, because you are only reliable when things are down to the wire.

And you know what? It isn’t okay to exist like this. It isn’t fair to you. It isn’t fair to your potential, your skill, your knowledge. It isn’t fair to your friendships and relationships with other people.

The high isn’t worth it.

Instead of believing it’s ok, I challenge you and me both to see the gravity of an addiction to procrastination. See the damage it does. And instead of ignoring it, do something.