Comparison Will Kill Your Confidence

Comparison Will Kill Your Confidence

And why there is absolutely nothing wrong with being you.

Albert Einstein once (maybe twice) said, “Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing it is stupid.” And I think I have heard that a hundred times, but this past week I saw it on Pinterest in a cute little picture, and this is the first time I have thought of it as more than a cliché saying. It caught me in my tracks and quickly realized how more often than not, I believe that I am the fish, judging myself on my ability to climb a tree. And time and time again I live in the lie that I am inadequate.

Often times I think we begin simply with physical comparison. And with each comparison comes a deeper desire to be more like someone else. Soon enough you find yourself in a mindset that makes appraisal a prerequisite. It’s in these times of insecurity, vulnerability, incompetency, unworthiness, or invisibility, that we are most prone to compare. Comparison can send you into a spiraling track of unworthiness as you become increasingly aware of all your faults and shortcomings.

Comparison is thinking things like…
“If I was more like (insert name) then… ”
“If I was more (insert skill) then…”
“If only I had what (insert name) has then… ”

Then what? Then you’d be more attractive? You’d be more love or successful? You’d be happier? I am guilty of thinking like this too, more times than I would like to admit, by taking my worst trait, and holding it up to someone else’s best trait. At some time or another, I am sure I have frowned upon most of the things that make me, well me. Is my laugh obnoxious? Am I too clingy? Did I study enough? I wish my eyebrows weren’t so dark. I wish my hair wasn’t so curly. If only I was skinny like her. Would more guys like me if I was more athletic?

We are heavily weighed down by the chains of comparison. It sparks an inability to live joyfully, causing us to spend so much time focusing on others that we fail to look at ourselves for all the wonderful things we were uniquely created to be.

Beloved. God says that you are his beloved. He speaks to you and says that he is happy with you. He is pleased with you. You are His beloved.

This is the very first step to any sort of success or personal growth or steps toward fulfilling your mission in Him on His earth He made for you.

This might be the first time you are hearing this. And if it is, welcome. Let these words of truth resonate in your heart and allow them to take root in your soul and fill all the corners of your being, and let it speak loudly to your spirit. You Are Loved. It is often not easy to hear the still small voice that whispers this to us, it is muffled by those thoughts of comparison and overcome by a world that screams at you to look a certain way or believe certain things.

Galatians 1:10 states, “Am I saying this now to win the approval of people or God? Am I trying to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be Christ’s servant.”

It is then — when we forget that we are God’s precious children — that we begin to lose sight of the beauty we hold and begin to believe the lies of comparison.

Sometimes it is hard to see our gifts, to recognize our talents, especially in our times of comparison. Being His beloved requires us to rejoice in our differences, to include, not exclude, to praise, not decry, to choose compassion, rather than competition, to work with others in admiration, not envy.

God knew we would feel this way, above the fact that it is simply human nature to compare, because the bible describes this problem through the account of Saint Paul to the Corinthians. He notes that the human body is made up of many parts — hands, eyes, feet, legs, arms, ears. And though these body parts all have very different functions, they are all vitally important to your body. Without one of these parts, we would be weaker.

Saint Paul goes on to comment,

“As it is, there are many parts, yet one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I do not need you,’ nor again the head to the feet, ‘I do not need you.’ Indeed, the parts of the body that seem to be weaker are all the more necessary, and those parts of the body that we consider less honorable we surround with greater honor, and our less presentable parts are treated with greater propriety, whereas our more presentable parts do not need this.”

You are needed, you are loved. You are not any less.

Cast out your insecurities find the truth in your comparisons.

Is my laugh obnoxious? Nope. It makes you, you. It makes others smile. It’s contagious.

Am I too clingy? No. You love hard. You show others their worth and you value relationships. You care.

I wish my eyebrows weren’t so dark. You have your father’s eyes. You share that with him.

I wish my hair wasn’t so curly. It has endless possibilities. Embrace it!

Would more guys like me if I was more athletic? Have you seen your paintings? Check out that writing! The right one will come along. Trust Him.

Today I want you to try to banish this culture of insecurity and comparison.

  1. Write down what you love about yourself and look at it every day.
  2. Don’t Judge a book by its cover, we all carry crosses. Don’t look upon a person with blind eyes, don’t compare your journey to someone else’s.
  3. Get rid of sources of inflow that spark insecurities and comparison. Maybe your fit Instagram pages are defeating you rather than building you up. It doesn’t hurt to unfollow.
  4. Surround yourself with people who love you for you!
  5. Compliment someone new every day. Focus on things that aren’t physical. Help them to love themselves for who they are, not what they are.
  6. Pray! Ask Him to cast out your insecurities, praise Him for all your blessings.
Cover Image Credit: Ann Marie McCollum

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12 Bible Verses For Faith In Hard Times

Remind yourself that God is always with you.

Lately, I have felt lost at what God wants for my life. Ever since I've come back to UWG everything has been horrible. It seems that I can't catch a break. I'm trying my best to focus on school, work, and extracurricular activities. But it's hard when I'm having issues with my apartment/roommates and knowing my family back home is struggling and needs many prayers. All, I keep thinking is maybe Carrollton isn't where I belong anymore. I've asked God if He can guide me in the right direction. Below, I have found Bible verses that have helped get me through these rough, past couple of weeks.

1. Isaiah 43:2

"When you go through deep waters, I will be with you."

2. Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord. Trust in Him, and He will act."

3. Romans 8:18

"The pain that you've been feeling, can't compare to the joy that's coming."

4. Proverbs 31:25

"She is clothed in strength, and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future."

5. Joshua 1:9

"Be bold. Be brave. Be courageous."

6. Ecclesiastes 3:1

"There is a time for everything and a reason for every activity under the heavens."

7. Isaiah 41:10

"Don't be afraid, for I am with you. Don't be discouraged, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will hold you up with my victorious right hand."

8. Isaiah 66:9

"I will not cause pain without allowing something new to be born, says the Lord."

9. Psalm 91:4

"He will cover you with His feathers, and under His wings, you will find refuge; His faithfulness will be your shield and rampart."

10. Psalm 62:1-2

"My soul finds rest in God alone, my salvation comes from Him, He alone is my rock and my salvation."

11. Philippians 4:13

"I can do everything through Christ who gives me strength."

12. Jeremiah 29:11

"For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

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Faithfulness Is Like The Clouds

God's faithfulness in our lives reaches higher than the clouds - that's pretty far.

Psalms 36:5 "Your love Lord, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies."

As I look out of the window in the airplane, I see the sun covering everything in its sight. And as I watch the sun cover the earth, I can feel the peace of God being to settle into my heart. We lift off the ground and I know His faithfulness travels with me wherever I go.

Something that I've learned in 2018 is that Gods' plan for my life is never late. He didn't messily throw my life together in 5 minutes, nor was He unwavering in the details of my life. He very cautiously knit together every moment of my life, even when I didn't understand why He chose to do what He did.

Over the past five months, I have been more aware of Gods faithfulness in my life than I have been in a very long time.

To make this story short, I did not grow up surrounded by extended family like most people I know. And while God has still been so good to me in my years growing up, I still had the small void in my heart that yearned for something more. Something that I had prayed to God in secret many times, but never intended to do anything about it.

This past summer I watched as God took that very desire of my heart and beautifully unravel them before my eyes in a plan that has been so intricately put together for years, but He chose to reveal it to me now. I watched as He taught me how to trust Him with everything in me, not just bits and pieces of me. I watched God reintroduce me into what it means to be proud of my culture and ethnicity in new and fresh ways. The dry and barren place of my heart that I felt could never see these promises that God had for me were beginning to come to life.

He gave me joy. Joy in people and in places that I lived 20 years without, but God knew one day He would surround me with. As I sat in the midst of conversations and togetherness, I was reminded that this was the very thing that I had prayed to God for so many years.

Our prayers are not insignificant to God. He holds every single one of them close.

So many times in my life I have asked God to just help me to understand what He's doing in my life. To just tell me why He's doing the things that He's doing. And so many more times after that, I have God remind me that maybe I'm not supposed to understand. Maybe I'm supposed to just let everything in me fall at His feet the same way that Mary did with Jesus. Maybe I'm supposed to constantly trust Him with every second of my life, even when I don't know the next step.

God never stops teaching me about His faithfulness, and I hope he never does stop. I hope in 2019 He brings me to places of growing more in what it means to invest in relationships, to speak into other lives about His goodness in mine. One significant thing that I learned recently is that Gods promises for our lives are never meant to run out. Just like His faithfulness in our lives are never meant to only happen for a few months. It is never ending and always secure. In Hebrews 10:23, It says "Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for He who promised is faithful."

..."For He who promised is faithful"

What a beautiful truth to know and to carry with us into this new year.

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