Ever since I was a little girl I've always been the tallest in the room. I've always had these outrageously long legs, arms and torso with just as big of a personality to match. I grew up with nicknames like giraffe, skyscraper, highwaters, or just the disrespectful "tall girl" when people didn't bother to learn my name. My knees never quite fit under desk and let's just say flying on airplanes is very uncomfortable. My jeans are always an inch too short and most of my conversations always go like "how tall are you?" and "do you play basketball?" and when I reply with two answers that disappoint the conversation abruptly ends because I guess they expected me to be 6'8 and entering the WNBA draft.
Well, no I'm not 6'8 in fact I am 5'11. Not 6'0 because one extra inch apparently takes away my femininity and wholesomely rips the masculinity off a man's back. At least that's what society has taught us. Truly, I've always been completely afraid of my height. Afraid of what others thought and afraid of standing out for all the wrong reasons because I thought being this tall for a girl was just wrong. It's not even that that many people blatantly made fun of me for it. It's just the way people stare at me when I enter a room, questions on Family Feud that ask "how tall is too tall for a girl?" and the number one answer being 5'8, or how some angsty and entitled short person always feels the need to yell "TALL PEOPLE IN THE BACK" when a photo is being taken. Like don't you think we get it. We've been doing it our whole entire life.
As I got older I tried to fulfill everyone's needs of me becoming a basketball or volleyball star, but it just didn't work out. I always found myself doing jazz squares and busting out choreography on the court during practice (Ok, and maybe just a few games). Although I was on A-team in middle school it was obviously only for my height. I would always get so angry when kids would say "you're only on a-team cause you're tall" but now that I realize how awful I was they were unfortunately right.
I remember getting a scholarship to go to this basketball camp for free when I was about 12 because the coach was astounded by my height. I just thought to myself "you don't even know me or my lacking ability to play this sport" but of course I went anyways. So I get there and I'm the only girl in my age group. We're doing warm ups, this one called karaoke where you cross your feet back and forth and all of a sudden I just fall. I literally fell on the air. Not a shoelace in sight. I couldn't blame it on anything. I just fell on the air. We didn't even have the basketballs out. I look around to see if anyone saw it and obviously everyone did because they were laughing so hard, even the coaches. I was suddenly overcome with an ugly cry that could kill and I run to the coach and tell him I need to go get my inhaler, First off, I don't even have asthma. Second off, the coach was still laughing when I asked to get my inhaler. Anyways, I was obviously too young to drive so I went to the bathroom for the rest of the camp and had a minor panic attack that lead me into hyperventilation. The end. Moral of the story, this day taught me I was never meant to play basketball.
When high school came around I told myself boys would get taller. But my first day of freshman year was just like any other day. I was still taller than every boy. However, around junior year the boys finally started catching up to me and I couldn't be more excited. By my senior year, my height pretty much stopped being a discussion topic for the school. I inherited a whirl wind of confidence and did not care what people had to say.
Now being 18, I proudly walk into a shoe store and purchase heels because I began to own my fierce strut. Instead of trying to be the basketball player everyone wanted me to be I realized my passion was dance and the arts and I proudly say "boy bye" to anyone who says I'm a waste of height. I stand firmly in my height and I reserve the right to always getting dibs on the front seat because of it. I now know that no matter how tall I am it will never make me not a girl and it will never take away not even an ounce of femininity
