In January, I told my parents something that I thought I would take to my grave. It was a secret that caused years of depression and suicidal thoughts. I knew I was bisexual at the early age of eight, and hated myself for this fact for over a decade. Even after I started college and chose to be openly and proudly bisexual, I remained in the closet when it came to my parents. After ending a serious relationship with someone who did not accept me for my sexuality, I knew it was time to truly be at peace with who I am. It was time to come out of the closet.
I told my parents in an email. Crying quietly in my college library, I typed a long email releasing over a decade of secrets. I vehemently repeated that I never chose this. I would never choose to do anything that would hurt my family. My cries rang clearly through that I just wanted them to continue loving me and supporting me. I begged them not to turn away, like so many parents did when their children revealed their sexuality or gender identity. I knew I would not be disowned, but the fear still overwhelmed me. I ended my email by saying I understood if they needed time, expecting not to hear from them for weeks or maybe even months while they coped with this bombshell.
I went to the dining hall and drowned my sorrows and fears of losing my family in mint chocolate chip ice cream and French fries. As I continued binge eating and crying, I realized my tears also came from the beautiful feeling of liberation. I was finally admitting to the world who I am, and that I love who I am.
As I left the dining hall and went to my evening class, my phone chirped that I had received an email. My heart dropped. I simultaneously began sobbing and laughing as I read my parents’ response:
“We love you unconditionally and want nothing but happiness and success for you. We accept all of your friends even if we're a bit awkward around them. This changes nothing. Not today, not this weekend and not in the future! Luv ya!”
My family and I are now closer than ever and can be more open witch each other. They are more sensitive to issues that the LGBTQ community faces. I can finally crack jokes about attractive women. Of course this all takes time. They are learning to get to know this side of me while understanding that I am their exact same daughter that I have always been.
When House Bill HB2, incorrectly referred to as “The Bathroom Bill” was passed, needless to say it became a major discussion in my household. At first my parents understood the bill as the media portrayed it. The media has lead the public to believe this is all about creepy men trying to go into the bathrooms of women. Even some in the LGBTQ community has incorrectly only focused on the bill’s demand that people must use the restroom facility that corresponds with their gender assigned at birth.
Newsflash: THIS ISN’T JUST ABOUT BATHROOMS!
HB2 does many harmful things that effect everyone, not just in the LGBTQ community. It opens the floodgates to allow any business to discriminate. Who’s to say this could not be used to discriminate against someone who is African American, or someone who is wearing a hijab? This bill also massively cuts funding in many areas. That is pretty detrimental since North Carolina is also losing funding for passing this bill.
But the most harmful part of this bill, is the simple fact that it reminds me that so many people in this world do not even want to treat me like I am a human being. This bill says to everyone who is not a heterosexual white cisgender male, “you are the lesser.” This reminds me that even though I cannot legally be arrested for my gender identity or sexuality, I can still be murdered, beaten, arrested on trumped up charges, have my rights stripped from me, and be denied the most basic necessities that I should have the natural born rights to. This reminds me that no matter how much I love myself, I am still hated.
This being said, one great realization did come out of this horrendous bill; it showed the LGBTQ community who our real friends are. Celebrities, musicians, and corporations came out in support of us. It has brought people of all backgrounds to come forward to protest and show love. The LGBTQ community has been invigorated, because we are not going back in the closet like this bill tells us to do.
It is heartbreaking each day when I am reminded that I, and others like me, are so reviled, but it gives me hope when people step forward to accept me. My parents’ acceptance showed me that there is hope. I have hope that this bill will be overturned. I have hope that one day I will not have to live in fear. I have hope that one day everyone will have access to the same freedoms and rights, regardless of their sexuality or gender identity. We must have hope that we can continue uniting in order to show the world that we must each love ourselves and each other for who we truly are.
