How To Come Out
Wellbeing

The Bi Life - 5 Easy Steps To Say 'Bi' To The Haters and Hi To Coming Out

5 things to remember as you come out as bisexual

139
Emma Hamlyn

Recently, I came out as bisexual through the use of Facebook's new "came out" feature, I timed this to fall on National Coming Out Day, hoping that it would create more positive reactions from family and friends.

The response to my post was almost immediate, I received congrats from friends and family but also a few negative comments from close family and friends. The negative comments led me to question if I should have kept quiet and continued to hide my sexuality. The answer I have found for myself over the last few weeks is that no, I should not have to continue to hide pieces of myself to appease family and friends but perhaps I should have prepared myself better mentally to "come out" in such a bold fashion.

So for those of you considering coming out as bisexual or for those of you curious as to what someone you know may be going through as they come out as bisexual, here are the five tips I wish someone would have told me before I came out as bisexual to all of my family and friends.

1. Start where you need to. 


Personally, when I began my journey of coming out of the closet as bisexual, I started small. I knew that the reactions from the first few people I revealed my sexuality to would pave the way to my decision to come out to my extended family and friends.

The first person I came out to could not have been a better choice, this friend not only allowed me to explain my feelings but validated me in how I felt about my sexuality, something I had no idea I needed to hear until that moment. If you're like me and worried about coming out in a bold manner, start small, but if you need to do it all at once, do that.

There is no set way to "come out", coming out of the closet as bisexual is a journey and a path that everyone takes differently.

2. Make sure you're coming out for yourself - not because someone else wants you to.


Once I began telling more people about my sexuality, the opinions on who I should tell quickly flowed in.

I had many people tell me that the order in which I chose to reveal my sexuality to people was "unfair" as certain people had the "right to know first". This is simply not true, my journey is coming out was a difficult one due to many circumstances and I had every right to choose who I came out to and when. If you're in a similar boat, understand that only you get to decide who you come out to and anyone who tells you differently is being "unfair" to you.

Also, if you are in a relationship with someone who has already come out and they wish for you to come out, understand that they're already made their journey to coming out and they do not get to hurry yours along for their own pleasure. You are your own person and your sexuality is yours to own as you please.

3. Understand that while every reaction should be positive - not all of them will be.


This tip goes back to coming out as bisexual for yourself and not because someone else wants you to, when I came out as Bisexual on Facebook many family members flocked to tell me that it was wrong of me to come out on Facebook.

They told me this not because they were upset with my sexuality but because they wanted me to tell them one on one instead of them suddenly seeing a Facebook post stating that I was bisexual. I told them all the same thing, that while I understood their negative reaction I would hope they would change them to positive reactions and understand that I chose to come out in a way that benefited my mental and emotional health rather than putting myself through the anxiety of telling every person one on one.

The easiest way to deal with negative reactions is to explain that your journey to coming out as bisexual was one you thought long and hard about and because of this you would hope that if they truly love you they would understand your decisions to come out in a way that benefited you.

4. Avoid becoming angry at ignorant comments - instead, use it as an opportunity to educate.


Many of my family members did not understand what being bisexual meant and therefore, many made ignorant comments that were hard not to become angry at.

Something my mother told me when I expressed my frustration at these ignorant comments was "don't become angry because [they] don't understand, instead educate [them]." I tried to keep this in mind when talking to a family member who had previously told me bisexuality was not real as "you're a lesbian when you're in bed with a woman and straight when you're in bed with a man."

Instead of giving this person a smart response such as, "what if I'm in bed with both", I chose to attempt to educate them and teach them what bisexuality means and how I feel as a bisexual. If you hear ignorant comments, while it is okay to become angry, remember to try to teach these people too, many times, you'll find that people are willing to listen and learn if they truly care about you.

5) Remember this is your truth and it is valid.


When dealing with the reactions from family and friends when you come out as bisexual it can be difficult to remember the reason you chose to take this huge step in your journey. Just remember that you did this for yourself and for your mental and emotional health. Your sexuality is your truth to own and it will always be valid no matter what anyone has to say about it.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Health and Wellness

This Survey Shows How Quarantine And Drinking Relate, And I Can't Say I'm Surprised

"5 o'clock somewhere" is more of a guideline now than ever.

As it stands, and my friends and I are finally 21. We're extremely excited to be able to go out to bars and "get lit" as the kids say, but due to the pandemic, all of our plans have been put on hold. We'd rather wait and go when it's safe than risk spreading the infection and hurting our loved ones. So, we've all been quarantining apart, getting on the occasional wine zoom call. This made me wonder if anyone else our age were doing the same thing.

Then, I discovered this survey: We Surveyed Millennials And Gen Z About Their Quarantine Drinking Habits — Cheers. Here are 3 things that I discovered through the survey results.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Easy Summer Mocktail Recipes You Can Make With Items You Probably Already Have On-Hand

Keep these drinks in mind next time you're visiting your local farmer's market — you might want to grab some extra mint and limes.

With Summer 2020 in full swing comes the addition of many fresh fruits and vegetables to brighten up your dinner plate, but also your glass! Farmers markets are my personal favorite place to look for produce that is in season to make fun mocktails with.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

5 Ways To Celebrate The 4th of July — Without Fireworks Or Social Gatherings

We created a list of things to do since social distancing may create a dent in our typical, planned traditions.

With the Fourth of July on Saturday, the usual tradition of popping fireworks, grilling out, and being surrounded by family has been modified due to the pandemic. Whether you're a loner or surrounded by family, there will most likely be some changes to your celebrations.

For weeks on social media, people across the country have been complaining that they have been subjected to fireworks going off at all times of the night into the early morning. This has sparked concern and questions about why this is happening and how are people even obtaining the fireworks.

Keep Reading... Show less
Lifestyle

Carb And Cheese Lovers, Unite — These Are The Best Mac And Cheese Recipes On The Internet

Whether you need to get through the current pandemic or want to spice up your Fourth of July celebrations, these mac and cheese recipes will do just that.

https://www.instagram.com/p/BxIKdnMHcGr/

My favorite food is mac and cheese, and it always has been. All it requires is noodles and cheese — it's so simple to make. Although it's my favorite, it can also get kind of mundane because it's such a simple recipe. This, of course, has led to many people all over the world experimenting with the American staple.

With our lives currently being turned upside down due to the pandemic, a lot of people are seeking comfort. These are scary times, and in order to make it day-to-day, we need to have our favorite foods as a standby. These recipes can also be used during your celebration of the Fourth of July.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

17 Things To Make You Feel GOOD This Week

Because some purchases are just necessary.

Y'all, we're struggling. You don't even have to tell me, I know. What a mess we're all in, right? This year is not going how we planned and the world has turned into one giant struggle bus. I guess you could be super philosophical about everything happening for a reason, but sometimes life is just hard.

There are plenty of ways to bring yourself out of whatever rut you're in. You could go for a run, have a snack, or read a book. Or, if you're really looking for an adrenaline rush, go shopping. This is obviously not going to solve the world's problems with one swift click of the "checkout" button, but hey, it may just give you the little boost you need today.

Keep Reading... Show less
Health and Wellness

I Wore A Butt Mask Every Day For A Month, And It's Officially Essential In My Daily Self-Love Routine Now

Thirty days later, my booty's as smooth as a baby's.

- Blissfully unaware that butt-care beyond squats was even something I should be considering in my self-care routine, I tried one of Bawdy Beauty's butt masks for the first time a month ago.

- I've never really given my butt a second though till I took a look at improvements that could be made with the mask — if one of the hydrating, firming, detoxifying, or brightening masks in the kit I received could either smooth out cellulite or tone my skin a bit more, I wasn't going to complain.

- Each Bawdy Beauty sheet mask comes in an individually-packaged sheet, soaked with a serum I massaged into my skin after removing said sheet. The clay butt mask comes in a convenient stick format I simply draw on to my skin and leave to set for about 10 minutes before hopping into the shower.

- I set a goal of committing myself to butt-care every day for one month. Between the regular use of sheet masks, clay masks, and their CBD Butt Balm in between, I didn't have many expectations.

- I thought the whole concept may just be a gimmick, but my butt has never looked so toned in my life, and the cellulite I had is almost completely gone. I wear one every single day when I get the chance.

I'm incredibly skeptical when it comes to marketing ploys and gimmicks in the beauty world. I'll be the first cynic to try out the latest serum on the market every influencer is raving about just to negate every grandiose claim it makes.

Keep Reading... Show less

Friends, you don't have to be quarantined to use a personal massager, you know? Because, sure, quarantine made for a lot of extra quality time with yourself, but no matter what phase of the reopening process you're in, it's normal and actually healthy to take care of your sexual needs on your own.

Keep Reading... Show less
Entertainment

5 Books I Didn't Realize Are About Gay Women

If you read primarily LGBTQ fiction, then this list might help to expand your TBR list.

Photo by Ketut Subiyanto from Pexels

Frequent readers of LGBTQ fiction might feel like they're reading the same book over and over again, with few exceptions.

Most of these books were on my TBR list for months and I didn't realize they were about gay women until I was reading them, hopefully, this list of books can interest you in expanding your reading material and seeking out different stories.

Keep Reading... Show less
Facebook Comments