Have you ever wondered if you made the right choice? Or if you’re moving too fast? I know this thought comes into my mind more than is deemed healthy. I tend to overthink things or when I feel too lazy for that, I just go to the other extreme and start making impulsive decisions. But no matter what decision I make, I usually end up choosing the path that leads me to the most comfortable conclusion. Whether it seems like it in the moment or not, it’s in our subconscious to choose (usually) the most comfortable outcome. I mean think about it, let’s say you have two choices, go walk down the sketchy street that only takes 3 mins or go walk through a park that will instead take you 20 mins. We would most likely take the path to go through the park. We can make the excuse, “...but the park is prettier”. But even with saying that we are implying that it’s more comforting to the eye to look at the beautiful park as opposed to the sketchy street. But sometimes with that kind of mindset we tend to take it too far and settle for something that we should strive harder for.
When things just seem to play out okay, we settle. Many times instead of taking the path we should, take we take the one that’s easiest. I mean sometimes that’s okay because we are comfortable but it becomes unhealthy when you get to the point where you pick something easy as opposed to taking advantage of the one life you have to live. A great example of this is just the toxic relationships you may have in your life. It could be with anyone, from friends to boyfriends and it could even be with parents as well. It’s almost easier sometimes to maintain those relationships and put up with the B.S. as opposed to saying “it’s over and I’m not dealing with this anymore”. Although it is the best decision for both people, it’s just so much easier to not face the truth.
It’s the constant battle of knowing when you are settling and when you know you are at your full potential. Over the years, I struggled a lot because I’d hear things like, “you know you’re better than that” and I would get a big head so I would hear, “well what makes you any different than us?” It wasn’t until this year while I was abroad that I realized where my “limits” are. It’s not even about having a big head but more so being comfortable with yourself and who you have become. If it weren’t for those “big headed moments” or those times of doubt, I would have never become the person I am today. Not saying I have it all figured out but it really got me to think what the “root” of settling is. I have to say that after doing a lot of pondering, I will conclude with saying that it was truly due to the fact that as humans, we looks for that comfortable bubble. It’s not really that we have a big head or that we’re self conscious. It’s that we look for a spot where we are comfortable. Even in those toxic relationships I mentioned before, we know that in life, nothing is perfect so if something is going “eh” then we just brush it off because “no one is perfect”. But then you have to stop and think, “what do I want?” And “am I being reasonable?”. Once you have answered those questions, that’s when you know can make the conclusion if you’re settling or not.
