I LOVE the “f” word. I’m always thinking about it, I use it in everyday conversation, and it feels good to say. It’s bold and empowering. I know others who love the “f” word too. We get that first-day-of-summer feeling when it comes up in conversation. I know people who don’t really understand the “f” word, and ask me why I say it so much, or why I love it, or what it even means. Sometimes the “f” word makes people mad. I try to tell them about the “f” word, but they don’t even want to hear it. They ask me not to say it anymore, and tell me it’s a stupid made up word. They put me down, shame me, and even laugh in my face.
I first discovered the “f” word my senior year of high school in an old English room with no fire alarm, surrounded by my fellow classmates during the last block of the day. I didn’t really know what it meant as first, but I loved learning about it. I ate up all the information that was presented to me, devoured it, and always asked for seconds, thirds, sometimes even fourths.
The “f” word. Feminism.
Now before you freak out, close your tab, and continue about your day, I want you to hear me out. Feminism isn’t synonymous with misandry, and it's not women ‘trying to get women in a higher position than men’. It’s also not just the wage gap, even though it’s important to our work. It’s about advocating for equality for ALL people regardless of race, gender, class, sexuality, religion, etc. Everyone should be a feminist, and not just because they have moms, sisters, and girlfriends that they care about; but because people are people, and they should be treated that way.
I often find myself afraid to tell people that I am a feminist. There is a lot of negative connotation to the word. I’ve been called a feminazi. I’ve been told that I shouldn’t tell men I am a feminist because that’ll turn them off. I’ve also been told no one wants to marry feminists. It’s tough when I proudly claim I am also a Women’s and Gender Studies major and my first response is, “well what’re you going to do with that?” Well, my goal is to begin teaching young children about feminism, equality, activism, and acceptance. I believe social justice classrooms are crucial for the advancement of equality in the world. I want to work in a violence prevention crisis center. I’m thinking about a masters degree in higher education to work with college students and violence prevention.
I find it ridiculous that I am afraid to tell people about my passion for feminism. I find myself more often than not avoiding the conversation because I don’t want to be ridiculed anymore. It makes me doubt myself and say, “am I being a bad feminist..?”. In a way maybe, but it’s exhausting having to explain over and over again that you don’t hate men and that I am not just fighting for the wage gap. It’s exhausting having to defend myself after getting called a rude name. It’s exhausting having to explain to people that we haven’t reached equality for everyone in this country. Since there is such negative feelings towards feminism in our culture, it’s created somewhat of an anxiety inside me about sharing my passion for it with others. Worrying about constant ridicule is stressful, and no one should have to feel that way about something they’re passionate about.
I’ve been working on being more vocal about being a feminist. This is something that I love and believe in, why should I be ashamed of hiding it? I’d just like to say something to all the people who have given me a difficult time about feminism: do your research and learn about what feminism actually is. I don’t think you’d be as opposed to it as you think you are. And for all those feminists going through something similar as me, we shouldn’t be ashamed of our passion for equality. After all, we’re just trying to make the world a better place. Just remember, “Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass” - Maya Angelou.
