My college is a safe place. They create a bubble of safety in which community’s flourish in a world separate from the public. Communities made up of clubs, classes, high school friends, and those who you happened to eat lunch with at one time. These communities are home. I chose a home in the North East at a liberal arts college. This resulted in a majority Democratic student body with the odd Republican, all of whom thought that Hillary Clinton was the only person who would become our forty-fifth President.

This bubble we created turned into an echo chamber. Our own political club, SLU Democrats, is our only source for political news on campus, our government teachers praised Hillary’s presidency, and our Facebooks covered in CNN and New York Times all spitting out large masses of Donald Trump’s mistakes. When Trump won, we were shocked. The night turned somber and the next day remained the same. Students left classes in tears, wrapped themselves in blankets and coped. Teachers mass apologized for their mistakes. The sky was gray.

I am a young African-American woman who lives in America. This year wasn’t what I envisioned for our country. I assumed that my first election where I was old enough to truly understand what was going on, would be a little more peaceful that what I am seeing now.

Honestly, I am a democrat, in the sense that if I have to pick a party that is the one I see reflecting the values I was raised with. I believe that everyone should be able to have a say in who they believe should run our country. So, I can’t say that Donald Trump is the wrong choice for president, but he is the wrong choice for me.

I don’t hate Donald Trump, but I hate some of the things that he does. I dislike that he doesn’t fully think out the messages he puts into the world, and I do, in fact, hate the effects of what he has said. In a world where I have had people fight and die for every “privilege” I have ever been given, Donald Trump standing up and verbally diminishing people who are leaders, and role models to me, makes me have negative reactions to him. I dislike that Trump saying anything that he would like to say, makes other people think that they should say whatever they would like to say.

One of my friends from high school posted on Facebook after the election, “Can’t wait for Trump to put these niggers back into the fields.” I have never had a bad experience with this boy, but I felt attacked by someone who I have known for four years, over the fact that we have elected a new president.

I don’t hate Donald Trump, but I am fearful for my future in this country. I didn’t enjoy waking up the morning of November 9, as a citizen of the United States. Everything was so full of hate and ugly. I don’t think that I should have to fear that I am going to be targeted due to the fact that I am a woman, or black, or a supporter of LGBTQ+ rights.

I live in a world that one out of three African-American men will be arrested, and I have four brothers, and the fact that I have to compare the odds of my siblings being locked up, in a self-proclaimed free world, is terrifying in itself. But when you have someone, a leader, who isn’t stopping these ideals but in a way promoting them, is beyond scary.

I am not telling you that you are wrong for who you supported. You have the right to vote for whomever you want. I don’t hate Trump, but I will not let myself be targeted in a world where people died for my freedom. I may have had to fight for the right to be a voting, counted member of America’s society, but I am a citizen of America.