For some of us men, relationships with women are the most infuriating, alluring, and fascinating relationships that we experience in our lives. Especially throughout college, we experience members of the opposite sex as anything from a girlfriend to someone who is included as “one of the guys.”
Regardless of who she might be to you, we guys learn one simple fact about the girl(s) in our lives: Do everything you can to make her happy, or else be prepared to roll out the apology face and shell out money for expensive dinners. So in order to show where you stand with the woman/women in your life, I have created a simple system of scoring to track your potential brownie points.
Here are some of the rules:
If you do something she likes, which can be harder than it sounds, you get points.
If you do something she doesn’t like, which is about as simple as it sounds, you lose points.
You can’t do anything expected; you have to work hard to stay the point leader.
Here is an extensive guide to the many potential situations to earn (or lose) your brownie points:
WINNING HER OVER
Attempt grand romantic gesture, fail spectacularly (+1)
Attempt grand romantic gesture; succeed by some miracle from above (+5)
Take her to a dining hall, because nothing says “woo her” than all you can eat cafeteria food (-5)
Buy her Taco Bell at 2 a.m. (+5 morning of, -10 the morning after)
ARGUMENTS
You say you’re right (-100)
You say you’re wrong but still think you’re right (-50)
You say you’re wrong but still argue (-25)
Agree and deflect (-1)
HANGING OUT WITH FRIENDS
Ditch her with no excuse so that you can go to “Football Friday” with the guys (-10)
Fake illness, provide fake doctors note and fake prescription, and then go to “Football Friday” (-1, but probably -30 cause she’ll find out)
Bring the boys with you to hang out with her (+0)
Ditch the guys to hang out with her (+10) *see future brownie point guide for bros*
GOING OUT ON THE WEEKENDS
Stay at home, watch a movie, and relax with her (+5)
Go out with her, take care of her when she drinks too much, and get her a ride home (+1)
Have fun for a bit and then tell her you are “too tired" and go to bed (-5)
Pass out on her front porch after attempted streaking through the quad (-10)
STUDY SUPPORT DURING FINALS WEEKS
Skip studying with her all together and play non-stop ultra competitive FIFA tournament at the house instead (-10)
Go study with her and pretend to study your own materials but watch ESPN highlights instead of helping (-5)
Be productive with your own work and help her study (+3)
Be productive with your own work, help her study, and self-teach an entire minor’s worth of psychology to yourself to help her cope with inevitable finals stress (+10)
MOVIE NIGHT
Settle for a romantic comedy that is relatively safe (+0)
Watch a horror movie in attempt to be closer to her, even though you hate horror movies (-1)
Cry during Marley and Me (+5)
Find a girl who wants to watch The Godfather, immediately propose to this girl (+15)
CARING FOR HER
Respect her (+100)
Treat her to the world (+100)
Be adventurous (+100)
Look at her as an equal (+100)
If you follow this guide, then you’re probably over-thinking it anyways. Find out the best way to be with whoever you are with, and make sure you have a great time doing it.
