If I’m all moved in, have my books ready and seen all my friends, why is it I’m feeling somewhat lost amid the craziness of being back in College Park? I would be lying if I said I wasn't excited for the upcoming semester, to start my new major and to get more involved in clubs, but I’m still feeling somewhat out of place.

For starters, a lot has changed since I left in May. I am no longer an oblivious freshman living in the asylum-style North Campus high rises. Instead, my new location in Allegany Hall is now close to Route 1 and proves a more convenient location for access to McKeldin and all my classes on the mall. No longer will I have to trek up Stamp Hill, a blessing in itself.

Not being surrounded by 50 newbies down the hall, not to mention the seven other floors teeming in their own madness, my quiet, basement suite seems secluded and ideal, but something is missing.

Perhaps I took for granted the convenience of all my friends being stacked on top of one another, maybe it was the freshness and uncertainty of campus life as a freshman, maybe it’s just that drinking and finding the usual awful parties finally seems boring and unappealing.

Amid these shortcomings, I feel that my mental discouragement is centered in the person I have developed into over the long summer, and the stark contrast between who I was in May and who I am now. Even as such, I can’t place how or why I’m different, but life back in College Park seems to be suspended in an eerie stillness, perhaps the calm before the storm (first day of classes)?

My freshman year was all about me. I was able to imprint my personality and establish a base for myself. I grew in so many ways and felt the power to take on anything. Ultimately, I know that phase is behind me. I am no longer in constant battle to make friends and prove myself to everyone. The silliness of freshman year has given way to the seriousness of my majors and now school seems like an actual top priority (I mean, that’s a good thing).

I expect a lot of myself this year. Success in my internship, success in academics, financial success (if I can balance a job) and to have a fulfilling year surrounded by great friends and experiences. Maybe, since it’s just my second night here, I still need some time to really stretch out and get re-acquainted with my favorite place, because College Park is really an amazing place with so much opportunity.

I find that the excitement of a summer abroad can make things back home feel dull and less vibrant. I guess I need to get excited about something new again. Further, I’m having the tough realization that certain friends from last year are not going to last. Not that I don’t love them, it’s just that it’s hard to maintain connections with so many people when we’re all in different places. That, and the need to feel out everything and gauge who is going to be a positive influence during the rest of my time at school.

There is plenty to be excited about with the start of this year and I’m not worried about what’s to come. I think this semester just needs to get started more prominently and feel my way around my new environment. To the best of the year and a big welcome home to all my Terp family.