17 Guys You Date In College, As Told By Halo Top Ice Cream Flavors

17 Guys You Date In College, As Told By Halo Top Ice Cream Flavors

They're colder than your ex, but way more fun.
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Ever since I discovered Halo Top ice cream, my life has never been the same.

With each pint under 400 calories and packed with tons of protein, this ice cream is truly magical. It's so magical that it helps me prove my point of how guys are just like ice cream, especially the guys that we've dated in college.

I am sure that at least one guy you've dated while in college fits one of these flavors. Get ready ladies, we're going on a tasting adventure.

1. Birthday Cake: “The Always Down-To-Party Guy”

With all the colorful sprinkles swirled in, there’s no denying that he’s the life of the party. Just like birthday cake, everyone loves him, but after awhile, it gets old and you move onto the next flavor.

Average shelf-life: about 3-5 parties that last until 4 AM

2. Rainbow Swirl: “The Guy Who Turned Out To Be Gay”

He always had a knack for picking out your outfits, but you thought nothing of it at the time. His colorful personality never failed to make you laugh, and you loved that any topic with him was fair game. After awhile though, you began to see his “true colors." He’s probably still one of your good friends.

Average shelf-life: 1-2 months

3. Pancakes & Waffles: “The Southern Gentleman”

He probably loved his truck more than he ever loved you. He’s the guy that Sam Hunt warned you about, the one that Taylor Swift inspired you to “never, EVER get back together with.” Don’t get me wrong, he was a sweet guy, but as soon as you admitted you didn’t like country music as much as he thought you did, you knew there was no future.

Average shelf-life: 3 tailgates

4. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough: “The Really, Really Good Guy Friend”

Just like a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream on a hot summer’s day, you could always count on him. He was there for you whenever you needed him, but almost too available that it made you think there was something more. Come to find out he just thinks you’re a really, really cool person and that’s all it’ll ever be.

Average shelf-life: 6-10 inside jokes

5. Pistachio: “The Guy From Another Country With A Cute Accent”

He’s one of those flavors that you’ll just never forget the first time you have a taste. You haven’t met many guys like him before, and you appreciate his openness to new cultures. His flavor speaks your language, and you’ll be sad to see him go back home.

Average shelf-life: A 16-hour layover at Hartsfield Jackson International

6. Caramel Macchiato: “The Guy Who Drinks Like 5 Coffees A Day”

There’s a good chance he wears glasses and a button down shirt almost every single day. You’ll be mesmerized by his aesthetic at first but then he’ll start to annoy the shit out of you. He’ll be so energetic all the time, it’ll have you making up excuses just so you can go take a nap.

Average shelf-life: 4 coffee dates where he talked about himself the whole time

7. S’mores: “The Guy Who Goes Hiking ALL THE TIME”

Don’t be surprised if you see him rocking the “Chaco foot tan” on a date. He’s got multiple layers to him, and while you love his sense of adventure, you’ll end up in a sticky, gooey mess of heartbreak.

Average shelf-life: until the campfire stops burning

8. Oatmeal Cookie: “The Safe Guy”

I don’t know too many people out there who would choose an oatmeal cookie over a chocolate chip one, but they do exist. He does everything that you’d expect a boyfriend to do, but things aren’t half as exciting as you thought they would be. He may still be a cookie, but he ain’t no chocolate chip, that’s all I’m saying.

Average shelf-life: 2 obligatory anniversary posts on Instagram

9. Lemon Cake: “The Guy Who Cheats”

I really hope that you don’t come across this guy, but flavors can be deceiving. You’re drawn to his upbeat personality but you’ll be left with a sour taste in your mouth.

Average shelf-life: the moment you get those screenshots that ruin your life

10. Sea Salt Caramel: “The Guy Who Has Rich Parents”

Whenever you add salt to something sweet, you’ll wonder if the two flavors will contradict themselves. This guy is just like that. He will try to impress you with his “original” business ideas, but you know god damn well his daddy paid for that Rolex on his wrist.

Average shelf-life: 4 expensive dinners

11. Mint Chip: "The Guy Who Is Different From Anyone You've Ever Dated Before"

His refreshing personality is hard to ignore, you just can't help but get sucked into his world. According to you, he's "not like the other guys," but chances are you'll discover that he's been hiding something from you all along.

Average shelf-life: 3-7 months

12. Strawberry: "The Guy You're Not Sure Why You Dated"

Nobody ever gets strawberry ice cream by itself, you've gotta add some chocolate and vanilla to the mix or else things get kinda boring. When your friends start to say, "Hey, remember when you dated-" you'll stop them in their tracks because you'll know they're talking about him. Let's just not talk about him.

Average shelf-life: i-don't-wanna-taco-bout-it

13. Vanilla Bean: "The Guy Who Always Treated You Right"

Just like classic vanilla, he could never do you wrong. His values lined up with yours; he was raised knowing how to treat a woman right. Although his actions always prevailed, and he never really did anything wrong, he just wasn’t the guy for you, and that’s okay.

Average shelf-life: 2 Valentine’s Day’s of fresh flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries

14. Chocolate: “The Major Flirt”

At the beginning, you thought he only had eyes for you, but he clearly enjoyed being the center of attention a little too much. As much as you wanted to make things work, you never understood why he wanted to give everyone else a little taste. The whole time you were thinking, “Let’s not pass the spoon around, he’s all mine.”

Average shelf-life: 4-5 death stares whenever you caught him checking someone else out

15. Cookies & Cream: "The Guy Who Was So Obsessed With You”

This is one of the most addicting flavors, making it the perfect depiction of this guy. He pretty much convinced you that you guys were going to get married. You totally ate it all up, but then he wouldn’t stop texting you constantly and you wished you'd never opened the carton.

Average shelf-life: 48 unread messages and a missed phone call

16. Mochi Green Tea: "The Really Smart Guy Who Did All Your Homework"

Don't tell me you haven't heard a girl in your class say, "Oh, I just had my boyfriend do it for me." Can he do my homework too? He's not like the coffee guy, he's obviously way smarter than that and drinks green tea, instead.

Average shelf-life: a semester's worth of calculus assignments

17. Peanut Butter Cup: "The Guy You Never Thought You Could Get"

For some reason, this flavor is always hard to find. When you do find it, you're thrilled but also kind of dumbfounded standing in aisle 7. This guy is sexy, every girl wants to be with him, but don't let it get to your head.

Average shelf-life: 5-8 months

Cover Image Credit: Flickr

Popular Right Now

​An Open Letter To The People Who Don’t Tip Their Servers

This one's for you.
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Dear Person Who Has No Idea How Much The 0 In The “Tip:" Line Matters,

I want to by asking you a simple question: Why?

Is it because you can't afford it? Is it because you are blind to the fact that the tip you leave is how the waiter/waitress serving you is making their living? Is it because you're just lazy and you “don't feel like it"?

Is it because you think that, while taking care of not only your table but at least three to five others, they took too long bringing you that side of ranch dressing? Or is it just because you're unaware that as a server these people make $2.85 an hour plus TIPS?

The average waiter/waitress is only supposed to be paid $2.13 an hour plus tips according to the U.S. Department of Labor.

That then leaves the waiter/waitress with a paycheck with the numbers **$0.00** and the words “Not a real paycheck." stamped on it. Therefore these men and women completely rely on the tips they make during the week to pay their bills.

So, with that being said, I have a few words for those of you who are ignorant enough to leave without leaving a few dollars in the “tip:" line.

Imagine if you go to work, the night starts off slow, then almost like a bomb went off the entire workplace is chaotic and you can't seem to find a minute to stop and breathe, let alone think about what to do next.

Imagine that you are helping a total of six different groups of people at one time, with each group containing two to 10 people.

Imagine that you are working your ass off to make sure that these customers have the best experience possible. Then you cash them out, you hand them a pen and a receipt, say “Thank you so much! It was a pleasure serving you, have a great day!"

Imagine you walk away to attempt to start one of the 17 other things you need to complete, watch as the group you just thanked leaves, and maybe even wave goodbye.

Imagine you are cleaning up the mess that they have so kindly left behind, you look down at the receipt and realize there's a sad face on the tip line of a $24.83 bill.

Imagine how devastated you feel knowing that you helped these people as much as you could just to have them throw water on the fire you need to complete the night.

Now, realize that whenever you decide not to tip your waitress, this is nine out of 10 times what they go through. I cannot stress enough how important it is for people to realize that this is someone's profession — whether they are a college student, a single mother working their second job of the day, a new dad who needs to pay off the loan he needed to take out to get a safer car for his child, your friend, your mom, your dad, your sister, your brother, you.

If you cannot afford to tip, do not come out to eat. If you cannot afford the three alcoholic drinks you gulped down, plus your food and a tip do not come out to eat.

If you cannot afford the $10 wings that become half-off on Tuesdays plus that water you asked for, do not come out to eat.

If you cannot see that the person in front of you is working their best to accommodate you, while trying to do the same for the other five tables around you, do not come out to eat. If you cannot realize that the man or woman in front of you is a real person, with their own personal lives and problems and that maybe these problems have led them to be the reason they are standing in front of you, then do not come out to eat.

As a server myself, it kills me to see the people around me being deprived of the money that they were supposed to earn. It kills me to see the three dollars you left on a $40 bill. It kills me that you cannot stand to put yourself in our shoes — as if you're better than us. I wonder if you realize that you single-handedly ruined part of our nights.

I wonder if maybe one day you will be in our shoes, and I hope to God no one treats you how you have treated us. But if they do, then maybe you'll realize how we felt when you left no tip after we gave you our time.

Cover Image Credit: Hailea Shallock

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Sweet Potatoes Are The Most Underrated Vegetable Of All Time

Everything you need to know about the pieces of edible gold we call "sweet potatoes" and why they will always perish over any plain old potato.

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The potato. The heart of the American food industry. A versatile vegetable crop soaked in grease that brings us some of our favorite appetizers and sides. From french fries, to curly fries, to tater tots, to baked potatoes, to hash browns, this hallowed vegetable has become the Johnny Depp of the vegetable family. Now, we are all aware that the configurations of potatoes are limitless, but we commonly disregard the potato's delicious and neglected brother: the sweet potato. I, a credible food connoisseur and highly experienced eater, am here to tell you why you are missing out on a world of flavor if you choose to dismiss the beloved sweet potato and its many entities.

Let me first start this tirade by proving to you my credibility...I, too, once believed that regular french fries were better than sweet potato fries. I scoffed at the idea of choosing those ridiculous orange sticks over my tried-and-true plain boys. I could not be convinced that any sweetness should impede on my savory snacks.

These were dark times.

It was not until a mere month ago that my mind was changed forever.

It was a sunny (scary) Sunday morning, and my pounding head led me on a mission to indulge myself in the finest breakfast foods. I entered my favorite breakfast diner, Angelo's, and waited anxiously for my waiter to stroll over. She filled our water cups and asked if we wanted to start with any appetizers. Before my stingy self could even decline the offer, my best friend ordered a round of sweet potato fries for the table and the waiter scurried away. I stared blankly at her for a solid minute. I could not wrap my head around the concept of munching on sweet potato fries at 8 in the morning. She just stared back and said, "Trust me." Suddenly, a tray of blood orange sticks and a mysterious tan sauce appeared in front of my face. As much as I wanted to ponder the morality of this decision, the hunger began to take over, and I shoved one of the fries into my mouth.

In an instant, it was as if time and space had lost all meaning. When my teeth hit the fry, the perfectly crusted outer shell crunched softly making a sound much like your foot crushing a dried leaf. The now exposed inside of the fry was the perfect blend of mush and warmth that felt like your mouth was receiving a hug. The flavor...unbelievable. It didn't take me long to realize that this wasn't a fry — this was a culinary experience. This fry single-handedly blew the roof off of any predisposed ideas I had about American cuisine.

I am well aware that my fry experience cannot be simulated again by any average food-goer, but I challenge you, the reader of this article, to get out there and enjoy a sweet potato in any form. Stray from your basic fries or tater tots and dabble in a sweet treat which will undoubtedly bring you flavorful satisfaction.

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