Ever since I discovered Halo Top ice cream, my life has never been the same.
With each pint under 400 calories and packed with tons of protein, this ice cream is truly magical. It's so magical that it helps me prove my point of how guys are just like ice cream, especially the guys that we've dated in college.
I am sure that at least one guy you've dated while in college fits one of these flavors. Get ready ladies, we're going on a tasting adventure.
1. Birthday Cake: “The Always Down-To-Party Guy”
With all the colorful sprinkles swirled in, there’s no denying that he’s the life of the party. Just like birthday cake, everyone loves him, but after awhile, it gets old and you move onto the next flavor.
Average shelf-life: about 3-5 parties that last until 4 AM
He always had a knack for picking out your outfits, but you thought nothing of it at the time. His colorful personality never failed to make you laugh, and you loved that any topic with him was fair game. After awhile though, you began to see his “true colors." He’s probably still one of your good friends.
Average shelf-life: 1-2 months
3. Pancakes & Waffles: “The Southern Gentleman”
He probably loved his truck more than he ever loved you. He’s the guy that Sam Hunt warned you about, the one that Taylor Swift inspired you to “never, EVER get back together with.” Don’t get me wrong, he was a sweet guy, but as soon as you admitted you didn’t like country music as much as he thought you did, you knew there was no future.
Average shelf-life: 3 tailgates
4. Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough: “The Really, Really Good Guy Friend”
Just like a scoop of chocolate chip ice cream on a hot summer’s day, you could always count on him. He was there for you whenever you needed him, but almost too available that it made you think there was something more. Come to find out he just thinks you’re a really, really cool person and that’s all it’ll ever be.
Average shelf-life: 6-10 inside jokes
5. Pistachio: “The Guy From Another Country With A Cute Accent”
He’s one of those flavors that you’ll just never forget the first time you have a taste. You haven’t met many guys like him before, and you appreciate his openness to new cultures. His flavor speaks your language, and you’ll be sad to see him go back home.
Average shelf-life: A 16-hour layover at Hartsfield Jackson International
6. Caramel Macchiato: “The Guy Who Drinks Like 5 Coffees A Day”
There’s a good chance he wears glasses and a button down shirt almost every single day. You’ll be mesmerized by his aesthetic at first but then he’ll start to annoy the shit out of you. He’ll be so energetic all the time, it’ll have you making up excuses just so you can go take a nap.
Average shelf-life: 4 coffee dates where he talked about himself the whole time
7. S’mores: “The Guy Who Goes Hiking ALL THE TIME”
Don’t be surprised if you see him rocking the “Chaco foot tan” on a date. He’s got multiple layers to him, and while you love his sense of adventure, you’ll end up in a sticky, gooey mess of heartbreak.
Average shelf-life: until the campfire stops burning
8. Oatmeal Cookie: “The Safe Guy”
I don’t know too many people out there who would choose an oatmeal cookie over a chocolate chip one, but they do exist. He does everything that you’d expect a boyfriend to do, but things aren’t half as exciting as you thought they would be. He may still be a cookie, but he ain’t no chocolate chip, that’s all I’m saying.
Average shelf-life: 2 obligatory anniversary posts on Instagram
9. Lemon Cake: “The Guy Who Cheats”
I really hope that you don’t come across this guy, but flavors can be deceiving. You’re drawn to his upbeat personality but you’ll be left with a sour taste in your mouth.
Average shelf-life: the moment you get those screenshots that ruin your life
10. Sea Salt Caramel: “The Guy Who Has Rich Parents”
Whenever you add salt to something sweet, you’ll wonder if the two flavors will contradict themselves. This guy is just like that. He will try to impress you with his “original” business ideas, but you know god damn well his daddy paid for that Rolex on his wrist.
Average shelf-life: 4 expensive dinners
11. Mint Chip: "The Guy Who Is Different From Anyone You've Ever Dated Before"
His refreshing personality is hard to ignore, you just can't help but get sucked into his world. According to you, he's "not like the other guys," but chances are you'll discover that he's been hiding something from you all along.
Average shelf-life: 3-7 months
12. Strawberry: "The Guy You're Not Sure Why You Dated"
Nobody ever gets strawberry ice cream by itself, you've gotta add some chocolate and vanilla to the mix or else things get kinda boring. When your friends start to say, "Hey, remember when you dated-" you'll stop them in their tracks because you'll know they're talking about him. Let's just not talk about him.
Average shelf-life: i-don't-wanna-taco-bout-it
13. Vanilla Bean: "The Guy Who Always Treated You Right"
Just like classic vanilla, he could never do you wrong. His values lined up with yours; he was raised knowing how to treat a woman right. Although his actions always prevailed, and he never really did anything wrong, he just wasn’t the guy for you, and that’s okay.
Average shelf-life: 2 Valentine’s Day’s of fresh flowers and chocolate-covered strawberries
14. Chocolate: “The Major Flirt”
At the beginning, you thought he only had eyes for you, but he clearly enjoyed being the center of attention a little too much. As much as you wanted to make things work, you never understood why he wanted to give everyone else a little taste. The whole time you were thinking, “Let’s not pass the spoon around, he’s all mine.”
Average shelf-life: 4-5 death stares whenever you caught him checking someone else out
15. Cookies & Cream: "The Guy Who Was So Obsessed With You”
This is one of the most addicting flavors, making it the perfect depiction of this guy. He pretty much convinced you that you guys were going to get married. You totally ate it all up, but then he wouldn’t stop texting you constantly and you wished you'd never opened the carton.
Average shelf-life: 48 unread messages and a missed phone call
16. Mochi Green Tea: "The Really Smart Guy Who Did All Your Homework"
Don't tell me you haven't heard a girl in your class say, "Oh, I just had my boyfriend do it for me." Can he do my homework too? He's not like the coffee guy, he's obviously way smarter than that and drinks green tea, instead.
Average shelf-life: a semester's worth of calculus assignments
17. Peanut Butter Cup: "The Guy You Never Thought You Could Get"
For some reason, this flavor is always hard to find. When you do find it, you're thrilled but also kind of dumbfounded standing in aisle 7. This guy is sexy, every girl wants to be with him, but don't let it get to your head.
Average shelf-life: 5-8 months