They say if something happens enough, you should get used to it, but that's a damn lie when it comes to heartbreak.
The rejection never gets easier, the tears still come, and the feelings still suck. I remember most of my rejections like they were yesterday, I can still hear their words, I can still tell you how it felt to have a boy that I thought I was really falling for telling me, "this just isn't working anymore."
My world stopped, my heart stopped and the tears fell like there was no tomorrow. Months of wasted time on a boy just for him to say those five words, it didn't seem real; and you want to know what made it even worse, it was one Christmas Eve. Merry Christmas, right?
So ladies, if you find yourself looking down the barrel of rejection, just try and remember these 10 things.
1. This doesn't define you.
It may seem like it is an obstacle that you will never overcome, an event that everybody will remember, but the truth is, it can mean nothing if you want it to. The things in our life that have value and meaning have them because we give it to them. If you don't allow THIS moment to define who you are and who you will be, it has no power over you, and my friends, you are not alone.
2. Life continues to go on so, you should too.
This one isn't the easiest to hear all of the time. Sure we want to sit and cry and be alone all of the time, but the truth is, the longer you wait, the more that has happened that you gave up on. Who knows what could have happened if you went to that dinner with your friends or if you just went out for a drink to watch the game. Just because you want to press pause on everything, doesn't make it happen. I'm not saying just get over it because trust me, I know it isn't easy.
3. It isn't easy.
No matter how many times you get rejected, it never gets any easier. Sure you may know what to do, but it doesn't make the heartbreak any easier. I remember the feeling like it was yesterday, it felt like somebody had punched me right in the gut taking my breath away and then replaying every event for only me to see and laughing at me. That feeling is never fun to deal with, hell I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, but we all go through it, just focus on what is going on now and it will get better.
4. This might not be the last time.
As much as I would love to sit here and tell you that it will only happen this time and never again, I can't promise that, nobody can. I am almost 22 years old and can't count on my two hands how many times I have been made to feel like a piece of shit because of something a guy said to me, but you know what I always remind myself of: tomorrow brings a new day, a new beginning and more time for you to make things happen that you want to happen. What others say and do to you, are in the past, you live for today and for your future, they can't take that from you.
5. Just because he said no, doesn't mean they all will.
He may have turned you down, he may have broken your heart or torn it to shreds, but you know what? There is somebody out there in this world that is made for you. Whether or not you believe it, there is a man or woman hoping that one day, he will meet you and show you that you are all that matters in this world. Also, just because they turn you down now doesn't mean they won't regret it later on.
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6. You don't have to be okay.
Cry. Break stuff. Yell. Scream. Break some more stuff. Take up kick-boxing. No heart breaks the same way, so don't let somebody tell you that you are dealing with it all wrong. You do what you need to do to eventually be okay, but until then, don't let somebody tell you that the way you are feeling is invalid or wrong. In the great words of Jessie J, "it's okay not to be okay."
7. Spend some time on you.
Go out and get your nails done. Go and buy that pair of shoes you have been pining over. Date yourself. Treat yourself like the QUEEN you are , because if you don't, no man ever will.
8. Breathe.
Sometimes, that's all that will get you through the night. There were nights where I couldn't sleep because I would play the words over and over again in my head, "we aren't right for each other," or "there is somebody else," or the worst one, "you just aren't enough." I let those words dictate my life for so long and the only thing that would get me through the hard times was slow deep breaths. You just focus on it and you will be okay.
9. Fall in love with yourself.
Just like a man isn't going to treat you like a queen if you can't treat yourself like a queen, if you can't learn to love yourself, a man will never love you the right way. You are in charge of your life and if you don't know what it means to love you, how do you expect somebody else to know how to love you?
10. Say Fuck it, and move on
Plain and simple, there are other guys out there just waiting to get a chance with you, let them have it. Now, this isn't a to get over him you get under somebody else because that is honestly the MOST SELF DESTRUCTIVE THING YOU COULD EVER DO! This is after you have had your time to be sad, to learn what it means to love yourself, and spend some time on you, leave his words, his actions, his SHIT in the past where it belongs. You have a bright and wonderful future ahead of you, take it by storm and show them that you are a force to be reckoned with.
