College Best Friends or Lovers of a Lifetime?

College Best Friends or Lovers of a Lifetime?

Some friends become strangers. Some friends become family.
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I always laughed at the constant change in my groups of friends from elementary to high school, but the journey in college has been unbelievable. Instead of groups changing, I have actually realized that there are a few friends who not only stayed by my side, but they have grown to be family. I came to college not knowing who I really was or who I wanted to be. Leaving a small town with vineyards and coffee shops, I knew that moving miles away would have some difficult times. What I didn’t know was that I would have a group of people that would be there for those difficult moments.

My college best friends, my group of lovers, my family, whatever the world wants to call us, I am thankful I have you. Because of all of you, I have laughed a little harder, cried a little less, and smiled a lot more. Sometimes I tell stories of our experiences as if I have known you forever, but the reality is that it took two years or less for me to feel completely at home as I was surrounded by the greatest folks I knew. The last two years of my life have been much like the situation of a party. Many people were invited, but some people will leave early, and you stayed all night. Instead of just laughing with me, you have definitely laughed at me. In the end, after all of the fun, you didn’t leave my side. A billion sarcastic comments, a million late night study sessions, a thousand inside jokes, a hundred hugs, but only a few people was all it took for this college experience to be magical.

I have learned many life lessons since I moved from the beautiful small town high school, and many situations have not turned out how I had hoped. Some things went so wrong that they couldn’t be fixed or get put back together so they end up staying broken. However, I’ve also realized that I was able to get through those bad times and look for better… because I had the most supportive group of best friends by my side. Don’t get me wrong, there are times when all I want to do is fly you to Neptune and leave you there, but the power that you have to bother me comes from the fact that I listen and care about what you’re saying so the love still exists. Whether it’s the days that all of you have pulled me out of bed to party or the days that you tucked me into bed because you knew I needed rest, thank you. It didn’t matter how many people were ever in the room on a Saturday night because as long as I had my group, I knew it would be an incredible time. All in all, the people that have really made my college experience so memorable know exactly who they are, and whether you have graduated or are stuck with me for another year after this, I’m so lucky to have you in my life. All the moments where you drove me completely crazy or even the other way around, I wouldn’t change a single one.

Cover Image Credit: Glide Magazine

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To The Dad Who Didn't Want Me, It's Mutual Now

Thank you for leaving me because I am happy.
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Thank you, for leaving me.

Thank you, for leaving me when I was little.

Thank you, for not putting me through the pain of watching you leave.

Thank you, for leaving me with the best mother a daughter could ask for.

I no longer resent you. I no longer feel anger towards you. I wondered for so long who I was. I thought that because I didn't know half of my blood that I was somehow missing something. I thought that who you were defined me. I was wrong. I am my own person. I am strong and capable and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

In my most vulnerable of times, I struggled with the fact that you didn't want me. You could have watched me grow into the person that I have become, but you didn't. You had a choice to be in my life. I thought that the fact that my own father didn't want me spoke to my own worth. I was wrong. I am so worthy. I am deserving, and you have nothing to do with that. So thank you for leaving me.

You have missed so much. From my first dance to my first day of college, and you'll continue to miss everything. You won't see me graduate, you won't walk me down the aisle, and you won't get to see me follow my dreams. You'll never get that back, but I don't care anymore. What I have been through, and the struggles that I have faced have brought me to where I am today, and I can't complain. I go to a beautiful school, I have the best of friends, I have an amazing family, and that's all I really need.

Whoever you are, I hope you read this. I hope you understand that you have missed out on one of the best opportunities in your life. I could've been your daughter. I could have been your little girl. Now I am neither, nor will I ever be.

So thank you for leaving me because I am happy. I understand my self-worth, and I understand that you don't define me. You have made me stronger. You have helped make me who I am without even knowing it.

So, thank you for leaving me.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To The Friend Who Continues To Save My Life

No one knows me like you do.

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From the day we became friends, we have always had nothing but support for one another. Although we have only really been friends for about seven years now, I feel as if you have always been a part of my life. You know me just as well as you know yourself, and I understand you in the same way I understand my own thoughts and feelings.

You have never made me feel pressured, insecure, or unappreciated. The mutual respect we have for one another is unmatched. We can talk to each other about anything; from some of the most trivial topics to entire life philosophies. We have grown and matured together, and I couldn't be more proud of the person you are today.

We don't always agree on everything, and I always appreciate your fresh point of view, but I have never felt more in sync with another person than I do with you. We share the same birth month, the same age, the same home town, the same anxieties, and many of the same attitudes and values.

I feel as if you know exactly when I want to be alone and when I need company. Since we are both introverted, we understand that the other person needs time to recharge. And when I'm sitting alone with nothing to do, I always get a text from you asking to hang out.

In some of my loneliest, most vulnerable moments, you have been there. When I question how many true friends I really have, you are always sure to make your love for me known.

Through high school, and now college, we have experienced so many life-changing events together. Some that have taught us extremely valuable lessons, and others that have shown us incredible pain and how to grow from our lowest moments.

I want to thank you for showing me what life-long friendship looks like. Thank you for always understanding me and never putting too much pressure on me. I see an incredible future for both of us no matter where each of our lives takes us.

We will always share a unique connection that cannot be separated by any distance. But, for now, I'm glad you're only one text or phone call away.

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