From the moment that I could grab shiny baubles in my grubby toddler hands, I have been obsessed with collecting things. Snagging, bagging, and tagging stones, Legos, feathers, Sunday Comics, stuffed animals, Dream Pets, hats, marbles, toy cars, books, board games, bric-a-brac, and knick-knacks has always been my particular cup of tea. Which reminds me, I need to reorganize my tea collection.
Unfortunately, what I would call multi-tasked enthusiasm has been interpreted by my family as being a disgusting packrat, and I’ve been forced to shed my collections over the years. But after a recent purge, I’ve found that I have a huge space next to my collections of Pokémon cards and lighthouse memorabilia, a space that is just begging for a new assortment of things. The question is, what should I collect next? I’ve listed a few of my ideas below:
1. Assault rifles used on American citizens since Sandy Hook.
2. Facebook profiles that will never be logged into again.
3. Graduation diplomas that were never received.
4. Birthday cards that will never be sent.
5. Calendars that outline plans that never happened.
6. Quiet hallways.
7. Shards of shot windows.
8. Days of the year you can only cry on.
9. Holiday gifts that were never sent.
10. Meals you never got to share.
11. Books you never got to read.
12. Plans for first dates that never happened.
13. Pulitzer prizes without a winner.
14. Retirement parties without a guest of honor.
15. Empty tissue boxes.
16. Coffee cups that will never get touched again.
17. Sides of the bed that grow cold.
18. Clothes that still smell the same.
19. Slammed cupboard doors.
20. Bathtubs filled with salt water.
21. Shoes that never walk again.
22. Toothbrushes left in the sink.
23. Trophies that collect dust in the attic.
24. Constant memories.
25. Broken photo albums.
26. Cars that can’t be driven.
27. Bullet holes in the wall.
28. Words that die on your lips.
29. Head turns to someone who isn’t there.
30. Double takes done in a crowd.
31. In-jokes that are never said again.
32. Cold nights.
33. Cold mornings.
34. Most days are cold now.
35. Every day is cold.
36. Addictions to photo histories.
37. Wrong numbers.
38. Voice mails that won’t be answered.
39. Emptiness.
40. Blank expressions.
41. Boxes of memories that end up in the attic.
42. Treasured photographs.
43. Invitations to go out that you turn down.
44. Nights spent in silence.
45. The cold shower tiles.
46. Songs you can’t listen to anymore.
47. Movies that used to make you laugh.
48. Memberships to the gym that expire.
49. Old haunts that become haunted.
50. Businesses that go silent.
51. Private rooms that collect dust.
52. The burden of explaining to others.
53. False dreams at night.
54. Mornings where you forget what reality actually turned out to be.
55. Shells, bullets or otherwise.
What do you guys think? What are you collecting now?
