To the Clothes That No Longer Fit,
You saw me through the good times and the bad; every dirty time and every clean time. A broken heart and a broken zipper. Loose jeans and feeling free.
You got me through it all. When I stood before class to give speeches, you were there to boost my self-esteem and give me support. You gave me a reason to roll out of bed on early weekday mornings. You made me feel warm and safe. You made me feel happy and confident. A majority of my creativity came out through you. You had me covered, for sure.
Sometimes I didn't appreciate you as much as I should have. I'd toss you around as if you were nothing. I'd ignore you until it was convenient for me to give you attention. You'd sit in isolation until I let you back into my life. Many times, you'd be afraid I had replaced you. Many times, you were right. I'd come home with something new and obsess over it for weeks. But I always came back to you, and you welcomed me with soft denim and warm cotton.
I wanted what we had in the past to never have changed, but as time passes, all things change.
We had the best of times and the worst of times. Remember going to the beach? Or to that cookout? Do you remember camping, and hiking and going for walks by the lake? How about that time I wiped my weeping face on you, dirtying you with mascara and too much eye shadow.
I'm sure you do remember. How could you forget? You were with me when I was feeling sick, when I was feeling down and when I was feeling hopeless. Time after time, you gave me comfort and ease.
Middle school, high school, freshman year of college. Late nights. Cold weather. Pizza parties. Summer evenings. Here we are now: sophomore year. The Freshman 15 were not kind to me, and this year has not proven to be any better. You struggle to make me feel good about myself. You struggle to cover me and keep me warm. Honestly, being around you just makes me uncomfortable now; you cling to me constantly, and it's getting hard to breathe.
It's not all you, though. I'm really the one at fault. I've been spreading you too thin, stretching you out, expecting you to be able to adapt with my lazy habits and bad diet. But you can't, and that's OK.
I'm not sure if things will ever go back to the way they were, but maybe that's a good thing. I might need to learn who I am without you. Maybe we'll come to find that we don't need each other as much as we think we do.
Well, this is it. I have to say goodbye. But I know you'll be waiting for me just like you did all those times before.
Farewell, good friend.
With love,
The Girl Who Outgrew You
