Today I was driving in the car with my mom jamming as usual to our favorite CD's. She interrupted our jam sesh and surprised me with a strange question. She turned down the music and said, "how do you want to be remembered when you die?" I might have been caught off guard by this mood-dampening question, but as always, mother dearest came through with some kind of method to her madness.

She quickly answered her own question and said, "I just want to be remembered as someone who was always happy. I know I have my bad days, but we all do. I just hope people can remember me for my positive attitude." If you know my mother at all, you know that to say she's "happy" is pretty accurate, if not an understatement.

I told her I didn't really have an answer so I'd think about it. She then turned the music back up and we continued jamming. The music might have been blaring and the wind might have been all up in my face, but nothing was more distracting than that question she just threw out into the open. How do I want to be remembered? I began toying around with some adjectives in my head and came across confident.

Being confident is so much easier said than done. Take the witch from Snow White for example. She always had to ask the magic mirror who the fairest of them all was, because she wasn't satisfied until she had the affirmation of someone else. Why is it that we always care so much about what others think? Why is it that when we look in the mirror, we find so many flaws about ourselves? We can always find a million and one things we don't like and then struggle to find just one thing we appreciate. This is tragic. This is terrible. Someone needs to call the self-esteem police because an intervention needs to take place ASAP.

I'm usually not a person who gets annoyed by others. However, when one of my friends looks into the mirror and makes a comment about how much they "hate" this or that, something inside of me breaks. I have been blessed with so many great people in my life. So many beautiful, faithful, generous, talented, and smart individuals have helped make me a better person, and I know that thanks to them, the world is a better place. When I see them look at themselves in disgust, I get very annoyed that they are so blind to both their internal and external beauty.

I can't deny that I have fallen victim to this bad habit too, but knowing how much it pains me when others partake in such verbal self-harm, I have become more aware of how I personally talk to myself. After all, if we constantly put ourselves down, how can we ever expect others to do any differently? We must first learn to recognize the greatness we all hold within ourselves before we can expect others to appreciate us. We must learn to be good to ourselves, and be our own best friends. We must build ourselves up, support ourselves, make ourselves laugh, and most importantly, remind ourselves that we are beautiful, accomplished, and strong.

I get it, thanks to the society we live in, we constantly feel the urge to compare ourselves to others. She has better hair, he has a better job, she has a better body, he's better at sports, they're smarter, they're taller, they're more talented, blah blah blah. But, ATTENTION EVERYONE! In case you haven't already noticed, comparison is the thief of joy. Just like the little cliché snowflake and fingerprint analogies, we are all unique and our individuality is essential in this world.

Confidence is beautiful, and we all have it in us! There's something to be said for someone who can walk with their chin up, their shoulders back, and who can look people in the eye. There's something powerful in their persona and something unique in their mindset.

Like every other person on the planet, finding confidence can be hard for me at times, but I will forever be fully aware of the beauty in its existence. I hope you all will join me in making a more conscious attempt to love yourself and build up your own confidence.

So, after that long interlude, I think I have found my answer Mom. When I die, I want to be remembered for being someone who not only loved others unconditionally but as someone whose love stemmed from first loving herself.