At some point or another, everyone goes through a hurtful experience that just doesn't make sense. Whether it's an unexpected breakup or someone just deciding to walk out of your life.
As a result of not receiving an explanation, you may start doubting yourself. You may wonder why you weren't good enough or what someone else had that you didn't?
As human beings, we crave understanding. When something doesn't go the way we planned, we seek closure.
The truth is, however, no amount of closure will change the situation. It won't bring back a failed relationship and it won't bring you peace.
We seek closure as a method for understanding what we did wrong or why we weren't good enough. But here's the truth:
You are in fact 100 percent good enough and you did nothing wrong.
If someone rejected you, that's on them. There's nothing you could have done to change their mind. Of course, moving forward without closure is easier said than done.
I have found myself in this situation recently. The pain of someone you care about walking out of your life with no explanation is so difficult to experience.
After receiving no closure from this person, I began to get trapped inside my own head. I found myself asking if there were signs I hadn't noticed and why he suddenly decided I wasn't enough.
While part of me wishes to know why things ended the way they did, the other part of me knows receiving answers wouldn't have changed the outcome. Getting closure wouldn't have changed the fact that this person didn't want to be with me.
But now I realize I wouldn't have wanted to be with someone who didn't want to be with me.
Instead of seeking closure, I have instead started seeking myself. I know its cliché but the only one in charge of my happiness is me.
I'm not going to tell you that your feelings aren't justified because they are completely valid. You were hurt by someone or something and you have the right to feel whatever it is you're feeling.
However, instead of staying trapped in these feelings or trying to seek closure, I suggest you just accept the situation for what it is and move forward.
Take the experience for what it is, a lesson. If that person or thing you wanted was meant for you, you would have it. Relationships aren't supposed to make you question yourself or the relationship itself and while it may not seem like it right now, this is a blessing in disguise.
Of course, it will hurt and it may take time to move forward, but eventually, you will be so much happier and you will find what is meant for you.
So thank that person or be thankful for that experience. What you're going through will show you that you deserve so much more than what you have settled for.
This isn't the end, it's only the start of a new chapter in your life. Go out and live your life. Do the things you've always wanted to do.
Take your time to process your emotions and be easy on yourself. It isn't easy to go through these situations. However, later you'll look back on this experience as a stronger and more confident person.
So don't be afraid of not getting closure. If someone is unable to give you a reason or actually communicate with you, that says a lot more about their character than yours.
You will realize someday that you had to go through the bad times to get to where you wanted to be.
You will find someone who is worthy of you and treats you right. When that time comes, you will be so thankful that you didn't end up with what you thought you wanted.
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Sheetal Tadiparty
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